Ed Said:

“I got two favorite brothers

and one favorite sister.

How lucky can I be?

Ed, Brent, Jeanette, DeRay, Brooke, Amy Hugh August 3, 2017
 Plus I got two good parents.”

The Scapegoat

YES! May 17, 2017

Three days after Brent's birthday;

Two days after Mother's Day.

 Mother's Day Chairs.
(My tracks; cat tracks.)

The tomatoes were in the greenhouse outside - uncovered.

These plants were on the deck.

We were living in a 9x15' unit in  Stadium Village the first time I remember being accused of losing something I had never seen. It was like 3 AM. DeRay was going fishing with Roland Palmer and he couldn’t find his fishing license. He ranted and raved and blamed me until he found it right where he put it.

This morning he yelled at me for not telling him that it was going to snow and all his plants were left outside uncovered. Helen Hunger stayed home from club to dig all her plants up and take them in the house. I heard on the news coming home from the gym at noon that it was going to turn very cold; snow in the mountains and maybe in the valleys. That means us.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?”

Like everyone else, he’s always got his nose in his Smart Phone. I didn’t think I had to tell him anything. 

He’s always talking “diet” on the phone when I come home. How do I get a word in edgewise?

“YOU NEVER TALK TO ME. ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS SAY SOMETHING.”

I thought it was common knowledge.

“Once again, I get the blame for something you didn’t do.”

“IT’S YOUR PLANTS AS WELL AS MINE.”

If I had said something, he would have discounted it or said I didn’t know what I was talking about. He’s responsible for those plants; not me. He also would have complained that I was nagging.

For over sixty years, whenever he can’t find something the first thing he does is blame me. “Did you throw it away?” I get the blame for everything that goes wrong; every mistake that is made; everything that is forgotten. You’d think he’d look to himself, just once, but I guess that’s not a manly thing.

On the other hand, he has been so good to my family throughout the years. Incomparable. He took Mama to more of her cobalt treatments than all the rest of the family put together, including me. And he does it cheerfully.

So the bottom line is that I’m a scapegoat without remorse. It’s the least I can do.

The Vegas Condo - October 22-29

On our way down. . .

  Visiting with Shirley and Yula

at Bella Terra.

Yula recited Cowboy Poetry

while Shirley waited for lunch.

 We took Cove to catch the Temple.

And the wildfire.

 I didn’t take a single picture

of our week with DeRay’s siblings.

We did not go to any shows,

gamble, cruise the strip,

or even watch the airplanes.

We stayed in the same condo;

Went swimming in the same pool;

Watched up to four movies a day -

Movies everyone except me had seen numerous times;

Got the same haircuts from our resident beautician (Karen)

Fixed meals together.

Same as we did last year

and the year before

and years before that.

DeRay gets the condo;

Clare is the hostess because she lives in Vegas,

supplying all the extras.

Amy wonders why we travel over 1000 miles

to sit and watch movies

and do all the things we can do at home.

Because.

We’re with family.

We’re visiting.

We’re laughing.

We’re connecting.

We’re communicating.

We’re associating.

We’re catching up
on important things like:
All Clare's boys are tall - 6'5"-6'7½".
Jerry was always the tallest
until the youngest, Scott, grew up.
Now he is taller.
You wouldn't think that would bug him
but it does;
so Jerry bought an Inversion Table
to stretch himself out
and scales to measure height.
Ron went to see his son he hasn’t seen for over two years.

He visited with him for five hours;

got to hug him, encourage him.

We all felt the joy.
You can’t do that at home alone.

 Karen, Norm, and Ron left on Thursday.

Ed wanted to do the

High Roller again.

  

  

  This is NOT a paid political advertisement.

 Buffet at Silverton.

Lucky enough to catch the Mermaid.

 

 

  We enjoyed lunch with Amy Jayne

to celebrate her birthday.

Shirley is by a window now.

Her roommate moved out.

She says she doesn't really like to

be stuck in this place

but you just have to make the most of it -

to be content with what cannot be changed.

Sisters

Lucy, Jeanette, Shirley 1939

Verla, Carol Lee, Jeanette, Lucy LaRee, Shirley 1948

Growing up in Orderville.

Jeanette, Shirley, Lucy

Verla, Mama, Carol 

1960

St. George Temple grounds - 2005

2007 Mt. Carmel

Jeanette, Shirley, Lucy, Verla, Carol - New Castle 2010

In the 90's, we started having Sister Retreats.

At first, we stayed with Shirley in New Castle,

then for a few years, we stayed in St. George.

We'd go to the Shakespeare and Tuacahn productions..

We'd visit our cousins in Orderville and Moccasin

and our parents, grandparents, and great grandparents in the

Orderville Cemetery.

2011 -Cedar City

 Our brother, Jerry, who lives in SunRiver,
thinks he's a sister and we do too.
He took us on excursions all around the area. 2012

Jeanette, Shirley, Verla, Lucy, Carol 2012 

In 2013, Lucy, who always wanted to be 1st Chair,

left us for a better place.

Visiting 87-year-old Shirley at Bella Terra in Cedar City.

 Carol, Verla, Shirley, Jeanette 2016

 

  Shirley with her good friend from the Beryl Valley, Yula Hunting,

who was raised on the Arizona Strip

and was our guide twice when we went out there to walk where Daddy walked.

She was able to show us all the places Daddy wrote to us from

and the places he talked about.

 

Yula is a cowboy poet

and even though she had a stroke and is now in Bella Terra,

she recited and sang long and evocative poetry to us.

She is fiercely patriotic, as is Shirley.

Is anyone who didn't live through World War II that patriotic?

Yula has an American flag on her walker. 

Keenan, Shirley, Carol, Amy J., Verla

Amy said that if Keenan hadn't come to walk Shirley twice every day,

she would not be walking at all.

     In our family, we write an Esplin Round-Robin Letter* every three months (that has evolved as technology changes). As we got older, we realized life didn't change that much, even in three months. My brother, DeLoy, who has compiled, edited and sent the letters out since its inception, decided we would answer the "life questions". He chooses four or five each time and when we get through, we'll have our life history written. There are 365 questions designed to answer one each day all year. I did it to write my life story so now I just copy from my printed story. Everyone else has to remember and think. Shirley was always the most prolific letter-writer in our family, so after she fell and broke her femur bone and had surgery, we missed her letters. As we visited, Carol, Verla, and I took the opportunity to ask Shirley the questions for our letter that is due October 1. We had so much fun. 

     She didn't just blurt out her answers. She was very deliberate. She would pause and think after each question. We thought maybe we should go visit her before every letter because we learned so much about her. And she remembered a few things about herself that she had forgotten. She was happy to remember them.

     When we came to the question: ONE WORD on how to live successfully.

     “Let’s go on to an easier one,” she pleaded.

     Amy Jayne, her daughter,  said her one word on how to live successfully is “Breathe.”

     “That’s mine too,” we all decided.

     That says a lot for Shirley because she breathes hard all day and all night. It wears you out to watch her chest rapidly go up and down. When all my kids visited her in July, Elizabeth became very concerned about her rapid breathing. Keenan says it's like she's running a race all day and night.

     "What do you think about old age now?" we asked Shirley in parting.

     “It takes a lot of courage,” she confided.

     "Do you feel tired or do you have a lot of energy?"

     “I’m not tired and I don’t have any energy.”

     We asked her how she likes living where she is now.

     “I have some good friends. You get really close to them when you sit at the same table.”

Sisters are forever.

*DeLoy expands on the Round Robin history:

On the RR history you are correct

that it has changed over the years as technology changes.

Initially it was a round robin where each person

took out their last letter and added a new one.

After several years Lynn began to assemble

and mail them out in the snail mail.

After several years I began to do that for the family.

More recently we added the optional Life Questions by consensus,

and  just a few years ago we began to send

the assemble letters package electronically.

We retained the original name of round robin.