I call
up my friend Sylvia, in her 96th year,
to ask
her when she wants to go get her toenails cut.
“I
filed my big toenails so they don’t snag my pantyhose,” she reveals.
“Pantyhose?”
“Yes,
I wear them every day.”
“You
wear pantyhose every day? Even in your
house wearing your sweats?”
“First
thing I put on each morning.”
“I
haven’t worn pantyhose for 20 years.”
“Do
you just go barelegged?”
“I
wear long slack socks or crew socks or yes – barelegged and barefoot . . .
“Are you
the last one in America to wear pantyhose?
Can
you even buy them anymore?”
“I
have a cache.”
Survey:
Does
anyone else wear pantyhose?
Can
you still buy them?
I’m
very thankful I don’t know.
I
could never stand those blasted things.
I
would rather wear a garter belt and garters.
Perhaps.
