Caring for ailing wife ‘the greatest thing
I’ve ever done’
Rolly: Combative candidate Cook now a
tender caregiver
Camille Cook, her husband’s most
devoted supporter, suffers from Alzheimer’s.
By PAUL ROLLY
| The Salt Lake
Tribune
First Published Apr
01 2014 12:16 pm •
Merrill Cook’s
obsession with politics transformed the Harvard MBA graduate into a caricature
of himself, running for public office 13 times in the past 30 years and almost
always losing.
He also led six
initiative drives — three to limit taxes, another to end the sales tax on food,
one to impose term limits and one to require employers to verify their workers’
citizenship status.
During those times —
stressful campaigns, the heartbreaking losses, the teasing from the news media
and other politicians about his failed candidacies — Cook’s wife, Camille, was
by his side, shaking hands, making calls, passing out fliers and comforting the
family.
She never liked
politics, and her husband knew it. She did it for him. She never complained
about lost family vacations, the draining of their personal wealth to help
finance campaigns or the lack of privacy.
Now, he’s there for
her.
Camille Cook has
Alzheimer’s.
She was diagnosed in
2008, but the family believes the disease took hold about four years earlier.
During the past two years, Cook says, aphasia has set in, making it nearly
impossible for her to communicate.
"She has an
acute sense of colors," he says. "She still enjoys the beauty of the
mountains, of the flowers. She is happy most of the time."
Whether she
recognizes those around her is hard to say, but Merrill says it’s clear she
senses the love.
Cook, whose passion
for politics began when he was 8 years old, could just not stop running for
office. But he has a new obsession as the full-time caregiver for his wife of
nearly 45 years — and he loves it.
He wakes her and gets
her ready for the day. He cooks for her. He grooms her. He entertains her. He
helps her to bed at night.
"It is by far
the greatest thing I’ve ever done," Cook told me when I sat down with him,
Camille and two of their five children recently at their home in Salt Lake
City’s upper Avenues.
"I’ve learned
more things, had more satisfaction, had more sense of accomplishment taking
care of my wife than anything I’ve done. That includes running a successful
business and serving in Congress."
Their story began in
1967, when Cook returned from his Mormon mission and resumed his studies at the
University of Utah. They both had attended East High — Merrill in the Class of
’64, Camille in the Class of ’65 — but they didn’t know each other there.
He took her to the
old Heidelberg Restaurant in Farmington on their first date. They went back
several times to that elegant establishment during the courtship.
While Merrill could
name nearly every member of Congress and the margin of victory earned by each
U.S. president, Camille’s passion was music.
She majored in voice
and French at the U., then studied opera at a college in Pittsburgh.
The couple married
and moved to Boston, where Cook earned his MBA at Harvard. Camille supported
the family during his graduate studies, working at a bank and as a research
paper editor at Harvard. After his graduation, they remained in Boston while
Cook worked at a financial-consulting firm.
They returned to Utah
in 1974 and Cook eventually founded the Cook Slurry Co., an explosives
manufacturer, with his father.
Meanwhile, as their
family grew, Camille performed for the Utah Opera, the Salt Lake Opera and at
many other venues, including church gatherings and funerals.
Pollster Dan Jones
once told Merrill he would have better luck if he ran Camille for public office
instead of himself.
"Everyone loved
Camille," Cook said.
Now, with all five of
their grown children enjoying successful careers outside of Utah — two in
California, one in Connecticut (where she works at Yale), one in Washington,
D.C., and one in New Zealand — Cook shoulders the task of caring for Camille.
He gets help from
neighbors and fellow members of his Mormon ward, or congregation.
During our interview,
Cook’s daughters Michelle and Alison accompanied their parents, who are both
67. They entertained their mother with songs, smiles and laughter. She grinned
nearly the entire time. I sensed that she knew she was surrounded by loved
ones.
I asked Merrill if he
felt this experience has deepened the strong bond he has shared with his wife
for more than four decades.
"Yes," said
Camille, as her gaze turned to me.
Later, as we were
leaving and Cook was saying goodbye at the front door, Camille gave him a hug
and told him she loved him. The once-bellicose politician then gently kissed
her on the top of her head.
I loved this article on
the front page of the newspaper. I felt
validated for the first time. Being a caregiver, even a task as easy and rewarding as mine
and DeRay’s, is almost a closet career. You pretend it doesn’t consume you. You always wonder what you could have done
with your life if you hadn’t been so busy caring for someone else. For Cook to say that caring for his wife is the
“greatest” thing he’s ever done, puts it right up there with other noble
contributions.
There are other rewards
too that most people don’t realize, like insights into the magnitude of the
soul.
The article just made
me feel respectable and worthy. I’ve
always felt it is a privilege.
