A PLACE

When one person is sick;

The whole household is sick.

Especially the spouse.

With everyone sick,

  The house is sick;

  The yard is sick;

  The garden neglected;

  Weeds take over.

How totally our environs

Depend on us for preservation.

Deepak Chopra says, “There exists in every person a place that is free from disease, that never feels pain, that cannot age or die.” 

I want to find that place; for myself, my family, my house, and my yard.

Two months later: 

Now I’m the spouse.

Is it easier to be sick?

DeRay has shingles.

Agonizing.

Tell me again,

Where is that place

   that is free from disease,

   that never feels pain,

   that cannot age or die?

MY MEDICAL MANIFESTO

I don’t quite trust doctors

If they prescribe drugs and/or surgery

Indiscriminately.

I don’t quite trust exercise and yoga

Because shoulder stands and chin locks

May have caused a herniated disc in my neck.

I don’t quite trust alternative medicine

Because it’s just too weird and

Not covered by insurance.

All have helped—a lot;

Some have hurt—a lot;

Body, heal thyself.

This I believe:

I believe in Jacuzzi Jets.

I believe in Sauna Infrared rays.

I believe in ice packs.

I believe in heating pads.

I believe in my adult recumbent trike.

I believe in the vibrator.

I believe in swimming except when my neck, shoulder blade and arm hurt.

I believe in the Urban Rebounder when it snows.

I believe in time.

I believe in hope.

I believe in God,  
I trust in His infinite wisdom and mercy;

I believe in healing.

I believe there is joy at the core of my being.

I believe it is my spiritual heritage;

A gift from God.

CLASSIFICATION

Color of hair:  “Gray”

DeRay put on my passport application.

What’s he thinking?

When you color your hair,

It isn’t gray.

That’s an oxymoron.

CHILDHOOD REVISITED

I ran through the sprinklers this morning

Reminding me of our childhood frolics through the sprinklers

On our front lawn in Orderville;

Or better still sloshing through the flooded lawn on irrigation day.

More recently, I’ve loved watching

The grandkids running through the sprinklers on our front lawn.

Jonathan, Amanda 2009

Isaak, Brigitte back, 2007

Brigitte, Isaak 2007

Brigitte, Jonathan, Isaak 2007

Amanda, Karlton, Isaak, Jonathan 2007

Brigitte, Karlton, Amanda, Jonathan, Isaak 2007

Amanda 2007

 Actually,

I didn’t run through the sprinklers this morning.

I rode my adult recumbent trike through them
every place sprinklers were hitting the street.

Exciting.  Enjoyable.  Exhilarating.

Karlton, Isaak 2007

Klarissa, Karlton, Isaak, Naomi, Amanda Back: Jonathan, Brigitte 2007

. 

 Now

Where's my treat?

IMAGES

I can't help thinking of

Isaac lying on the alter

Abraham sacrificing Isaac

every time I lie level

on our new

Gravity Inversion Table

with no angel to save me.

40 degree angle

NO APOLOGIES

I have been hesitant

To even wear walking shorts

As Ed and I ride our trikes around the neighborhood each morning;

Capri's are more modest.

Sometimes I push my shirt sleeves up to my shoulders

So my whole arm tans evenly;

Quickly pulling them down if I run into anyone from the Ward.

Then the other morning I ran into

The Stake President

In short running shorts and a t-shirt.

Appropriate for jogging.

Of course.

Every since

I’ve worn biker’s shorts

And a sports shell.

(a baseball cap and sunglasses)

Unabashedly.

DREAM ON

Trying to remember the dream I was having as I awakened

Withering in pain.

I could remember the part about why I was suing the LDS Church

But I couldn’t remember why I was suing the State of Utah.

Think.  Think. Think.

Go over again why I’m suing the Church.

Because they advocate big families.

If my devout parents had only had four children

I wouldn’t have been born;

And wouldn’t be in excruciating pain, even in my sleep

From a pinched nerve C5-6 vertebrae

Shooting sharp pains down my left shoulder and arm.

No relief; no matter which way I twist or turn.

No amount of heat or ice reprieves.

In my dream I even thought of suing

the descendents of Scottish scientist

and Nobel laureate Alexander Fleming;

who is attributed with discovering penicillin.

Two weeks after my marriage I surely would have died

If not for antibiotics curing an acute kidney infection.

I definitely would not be suffering now.

My rational mind cannot come up with a motive

To sue the State of Utah

Except they are the home of the Mormons

Who encouraged my parents to have a big family.
Utah has the highest birth rate
and largest families in the country.

Companion to a painful pinched nerve

Is yet another outbreak of Staph infection

With a fresh nest of sores each morning

To torment and antagonize me;

Again passing the infection onto Eddy.

Why should he have to suffer?

If I hadn’t been born;

He wouldn’t have been born.

YES!

I think I have enough evidence to sue.

(with apologies to my younger brother & sisters and children & grandchildren.)

DO I WATCH TOO MANY BOSTON LEGAL RERUNS?

SEVENTY-SEVEN-YEAR-OLDS

Turning 77 this year, DeRay seemed to think he had finally crossed the line into old age.  I reminded him that "Uncle" Ed was 77 when he married Mama.  They had a lot of good years hunting, fishing, traveling, gardening, canning, woodworking; visiting on the front porch with everyone who passed by.

Maybe because DeRay was making a fuss, Ed jumped on the bandwagon.  He has used it to his advantage:

*    Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t put 38-year-olds down.

*    Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t grunt.

*    Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t gripe.

*    “You didn’t get my bed made, you worthless resident of the house,” DeRay teases.  “Seventy-seven-year-olds aren’t rude."

*    Believe it or not, DeRay doesn’t know how to run the dryer.  He didn’t know where to set it or how to start it.  Getting frustrated, he barked “HELL”. “Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t say the name of a place,” Ed scolds.

*    DeRay and I were having a little argument about something.  I guess Ed was siding with his dad.  “Seventy-five-year-olds aren’t mean to 77-year-olds.”  “I’m not 75.” “Oh.”

*    Trying to maneuver the trailer in road construction, DeRay is cranky.  “Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t complain about road construction.”

*    DeRay related a story about someone doing something dumb in Costco’s.  “Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t put God’s children down.  Seventy-seven-year-olds love all of God’s children—like I do.”

*    His dad was facetiously repeating everything Eddy says in a day: “Seventy-seven-year-olds don’t imitate 38-year-olds.”

*    “77-year-olds don’t swear.”

Damn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DeRay is reading about Pollyanna on the TV:  Pollyanna brings so much gladness to her aunt’s dispirited New England town that she transforms it into a pleasant place to live.  The book was written in 1912 . . .”

“The year the Titanic sunk;” Ed volunteers, “and the year your parents were born.”

     Who needs an encyclopedia when they’ve got Ed?

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

“Why didn’t we think to get a picture?”

Why indeed?  It’s the most incredible thing we’ve done this summer.

About 15 years ago, we installed a new fridge

in the shabby kitchen in the basement,

Then sealed up the doorway into the hall and put in a Jacuzzi tub.

The other door to the room is only 24” wide.

By and by, the “new” fridge ceased to freeze.

The repairman called it a “dead horse”.

He even wrote it on the bill.

How do you get a 30” fridge through a 24” door?

“We could leave it in and store stuff in it.”

“It’s junk.”

So DeRay, analytical, engineer, undaunted,

Laid plastic over the entire floor

And proceeded to saw, cut, and cajole

Using an electric skill saw with a metal cutting blade

As well as a battery operated reciprocal saw with a hacksaw blade

Dust.  Fumes.  Contaminants.

The whole room, and to a lesser extent the entire house, cloudy.

Fridges are very thick and stubborn.

Metal doesn’t like to be messed with.

Three strapping young men from RC Willey’s

Put the new fridge in the hallway

Next to the deepfreeze.

The salesman promised they would carry the old fridge out in pieces.

“We only take whole fridges.”

Too bad.

At least 50 pieces.

DeRay cleaned up the mess

Picked up the plastic.

Vacuumed.

And we didn’t even get a picture of this inimitable monumental mission.

Ed goes down in the basement to get a jug of milk.  "I love our new fridge, Mom," he says as he comes up.  "Boy, it sure is an ugly thing."

It's black.

What can I say?

Ed ALWAYS nails it.

CARDBOARD CASKETS & OTHER MISCELLANY

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray the Lord my soul to keep,
If I shall die before I wake,
I pray the Lord my soul to take.

              --Classic Children’s Prayer from the 18^th century.

If I should die before I wake

I want to be buried in the fetal position—

Very comforting,

I thought last night

As I was turning in my sleep.

I’m not comfortable very long

Lying on my back.

(Especially when Amy is out of town

And Pancake is sleeping at my feet.)

Pancake sleeping at the bottom of my bed where my feet should be if I were lying on my back.

   For the viewing, if there be one,

I could be stretched out appropriately;

But when they put me in the cardboard casket,

(Returning the rental one to the mortuary)

It would be square.

That wouldn’t be difficult, would it?

Cardboard is both cheap and flexible.

Rigor mortis could be a problem.

I’ll leave that up to the mortician.

But NO EMBALMING.

I think it was Amy Jayne who told us about

Cardboard Caskets and thrifty funerals.

 I agree.

 And should I live for other days,

I pray that God will guide my ways.

Amen

MISCELLANEOUS OBSERVATIONS 
As I ride my trike around the neighborhood

Next to ours,

If I see a home for sale,

I think:  Someone is getting a divorce.

Ten years ago, I would have thought:

Someone got a promotion and the family

is moving to a new exciting location.

*

It seems a little strange,

But I see more men than women

Working in flower beds.

More women than men are mowing lawns.

Women pruning hedges.

One woman was operating a heavy electric hedger

While her husband daintily raked.

What is going on?

*

During the day,

If I have time to sleep,

I’m sleepy.

If I don’t have time to sleep;

I’m not sleepy.

*

Generally I don’t see myself as dying immediately;

Even considering my abundant age.

But any little thing goes wrong

--bleeding, dizziness, numbness, pain, Staph—

I’m right on the register to die today.

A subtle reminder that we do not

Control our ultimate destiny.

 *

Our computers display random photos slide shows

When not in use.

What I hate about seeing those pictures everyday:

#1 – A reminder we are still wearing the same clothes

we were wearing 5-10, even 15 years ago.

I thought they were new.

#2 – How quickly time flies.

Look how the grandchildren have grown!

Not to mention how everyone

Else has aged.

Nostalgia for the good ole days.

Less troubles.

More togetherness.

*

Coming out of church,

Carol asked if I wanted to see a picture of Shelli.

Jeanne’s old friend.

Looking for the picture of Shelli,

She ran across one of Scott.

Scott was the missionary we ran into on Red Square in Russia.

“He’s been a bishop for 4-1/2 years,” Carol brags.

Wasn’t that just yesterday?

 I wouldn’t have recognized Shelli.

She’s middle-aged now.

“She colors her hair.

She lives in fear she’ll be grey like me,” Carol laughs.

“She got laid off at Kiffer.

She’s now working in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

A neurobiologist,

But she’s not getting enough hours.”

“What about her husband?”

“Oh, he doesn’t work.

He’s bi-polar.

Shelli’s had a hard life,

A very hard life.”

At least she comes home,

I reflect.

*

THE WORLD’S STUPIDEST CONVERSATION

Five miles out, on way home from St. George,

I realize I don’t have my cell phone.

“I never did find my phone,”

I say to my husband.

“Where is it?” he asks.

DUH

“Call it,”

he suggests.

“I don’t have a phone.”

DUH

“Get me to call it.”

“Is it going to be in the ice chest?”

(only baggage in cab)

DUH

Luckily, it was in the trunk

Packed in the side pocket of my suitcase.

DUH

We didn’t have to go back.

Probably couldn’t have found our way.

DUH

*

Leaving St. George

It is 104 degrees.

Arriving in Cedar City,

Only 86 blessed degrees.

*

At the service station

Where we buy natural gas

There is a pickup pulling a big boat,

Reminding me of watching our neighbors

Pull out in their big rig

For a day on the lake

Or a week at Lake Powell.

I loved our houseboat on Lake Powell

For the 20 or more years we were part owners;

But I truly feel sorry for speedboat owners

Who have to spend a day

In the sun and wind

fighting bumps and boredom

Riding round and round the lake.

 *

We are almost to Fillmore; halfway.

“IF”

I tell my husband,

“I had forgotten the ice packs for my knees,

I’d insist we go back.”

They make it possible for me to sleep at night

Relatively pain-free.

He laughs.

He knows it’s the first thing I pack.

I may forget my cell phone;

I may forget my clothes, Kindle, or toothbrush;

But I will not forget my $100/each knee ice packs.

My salvation.

*

We had planned a Five-Sisters-Reunion

For this week

Until last minute one sister

Booked a flight to

See her son and family in Georgia.

“Well, if we had had the Sisters Retreat

it would all be over now.

So what’s the difference?”

I muse.

“Well, you could have had fun

instead of boredom,”

my husband suggests.

Sometimes in the twilight of our lives,

Boredom is not bad.

Yet forever,

In my heart,

I will miss the week with my sisters.

*

Speaking of broken hearts,

I was talking about a movie we saw last night.

Bright Star,

The love story of the poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne.

Keats died at the tender age of 25

Before he knew he would be

Considered one of the greatest romantic

and most beloved English poet ever.

“How refreshing,”

I comment,

“to see them touching hands,

gently kissing,

to express their love. . .”

 “Which makes me jealous. . .”

Ed interjects.

Life isn’t fair, is it?

More than any other scripture,

The one I quoted in my high school graduation talk

More than 57 years ago,

Comes to mind several times each day:

Peace I leave with you,

My peace I give unto you.

Not as the world giveth

Give I unto you. 
I should remember to quote
the last two important lines:

 Let not your heart be troubled,

neither let it be afraid.

John 14:27

Another refrain

I repeat obsessively:

We may not know

We cannot know

What pains He had to bear

But we believe it was for us

He hung and suffered there.

Solace.

 There Is a Green Hill Far Away

Chorus:

Oh, dearly, dearly has He loved,

And we must love Him too;

And trust in His redeeming blood,

And try His works to do.

Lyrics:Cecil Frances Humphreys Alexander
Music: George Coles Stebbins