MEDITATION THOUGHTS

DeRay

I forgive you

(for nonchalantly watching TV during my crisis -

you do so much for me daily)

Amy

I forgive you

(for not picking up clothes or dishes -

you enrich my life in profound ways)

Eddy

I love you,

Will you forgive me?

R-RATED – Parts may be too graphic for younger audiences.

After going to Dr. Babcock
And loading up on nutritious pills,
DeRay wanted to stop at Farmer’s Market.
I didn’t feel like going in.
I had mild stomach cramps and was generally tired.
All the way home I felt like I might burst.
There was the most gorgeous sunset.
I grabbed my camera and walked to the street
To get a picture but it was too late
and we are too low.
It was amazing as we drove down the street.
So I finally sat on the toilet
and was shocked to the core
when there were clots and blood on the toilet paper;
blood literally filling the toilet bowl.
What had swished out was straight bright red blood.
It scared the living daylight out of me.
I’m bleeding to death.
I’m dying.
My beloved husband of 54 years was engrossed in a movie
And was not alarmed in anyway.
I had already asked him to feed Ed
but he ignored me
so I went ahead and fed him
and did his eye and lips for mutual.
Then I went to bed.
I still had hopes of cleaning the bathrooms and basement
but I soon realized I was too weak.
DeRay left without checking on me.
I sincerely thought I was going to die.
I mentally was making out my last will and testament.
I regretted that I didn’t have Mama’s history
ready for Lynn to add the photos.
You'd think I'd be worrying about
Ed and DeRay and Amy
and who would clean the toilets?
NO, I fretted about Mama’s history.
I was beginning to think my dream
of a few days ago was going to come true.

The one where I woke up in heaven

with Mama and Daddy

hovering over me

And I realized (with satisfaction) that I was an only child –
The first in my family to die.
I slept for awhile.
Amy came home and came up.
She brought me a glass of water
and visiting with me
while she ate tomato soup.
She said tomato soup and orange juice cure everything.
“Well, if you’re not going to visit with me,
I’m going to bed.”
“You can talk.  I’ll listen.
I just don’t feel like talking.”
Around 10:30, not being able to sleep longer,
I got up and went into the computer room.
I don’t want to linger.
I want to be healthy or die.
I don’t want to die an inch at a time.
What would cause all that blood?
My stomach is very tender and rumbly.
Maybe I’ll live until morning and maybe I won’t.
Talking to Sylvia, my 90-year-old friend,
The next day, I told her that
I was so surprised when I woke up and I was still alive.
"That's the first time I've laughed all day," she responded.
Dr. Babcock, the fake doctor, refused to take any blame;
Saying to call my primary care doctor.
Late in the afternoon,
Dr. Flanders, the surgeon I like because he didn’t surge
When I had a bowel blockage,
Called back.
He said I should have another colonoscopy.
“You said when I had the last one,
at my age I would never have to have another one.”
“How old are you?”
“74.”
“You don’t sound that old.
I spoke wrong.
I didn’t know you had polyps.
There are some serious issues here
And we can’t discount them.”
He prescribed some steroids to
Tide me over until he gets back
From vacation after next week.
“If it happens again
or if you feel weak or dizzy,
get to Emergency immediately.”
I was starting to feel good until I talked to him,
Then I started feeling awful again.
But I conquered it.
I’m alive!

May we all wake up in the morning
grateful for every little thing;
thankful for one more day
to prepare to meet God.

Sunset in Fruit Heights 1/20/11 Too late and too low to capture the grandeur.

HE CALLS 'UM AS HE SEES 'UM

Gnocchi, the cat, is perched high

on the clothesline pole

scanning the tall pine tree.

“Hey, Mr. Gnocchi,” Ed calls,

“You good bird-terrorizer you.”

DO I LABEL THIS ONE FITNESS OR OLD AGE?

This is the first winter

In my winters of recollection

That I haven’t bundled up

And walked or hiked for an hour each

Day in the great out-of-doors.

“Do you want to go for a little walk

before it gets dark?” Amy calls,

when she returns home from work.

The sun actually was shining;

The air pollution vanished.

“We have to walk uphill to get warm,”

she suggested.

Pant.  Wheeze.  Puff.

“I’m out of breath.

I can’t believe how out of shape I am.”

“You better get in shape before

we go to Bryce,” she warns.

YES, MA’AM! 

Bryce Canyon Winter Festival.

Snowshoeing, cross-country skiing,

Hiking, swimming.

I won’t want to lag behind.

Amy @ Bryce Canyon Winter Festival 2010

Snowshoeing with the ranger

THE PROBLEM SOLVER

“I solved it.”

That’s all he said.

It seems that before going to bed

he plugged in the nightlight

that I unplugged when I vacuumed today.

We can never again

Accuse him of

Not being a problem-solver!

THE ULTIMATE CLOTH

I brag the Ultimate Cloth

transformed my life.

We gave one to everyone

in the neighborhood for Christmas;

aunts, brothers, sisters, children, friends.

With the following note:

They are too good to be true.

There’s got to be a catch.

I’ve never had so much fun cleaning.

I wipe off pictures with glass over them

that I have dusted but never figured out

exactly how to clean without taking a chance

on water damage;

clean shower doors that have never been cleaned;

mirrors, windows, TV and computer screens, light switches—.

Everything sparkles

  Oh, and it does a marvelous job on the floors.

 They haven’t been so shinny since they were new.

I want to share them with everyone.

It doesn’t take much to be converted.

I am thrilled.

Also, the ebony Baby Grand Piano

that has always been an enigma.

Once a year I put lemon oil on it to clean it

but it’s not supposed to have oil;

it doesn’t soak in.

It has never looked so grand.

Eyeglasses, fans, antique lamp, glass table top;

popcorn popper; countertops, shower  walls, sinks, tub;

chrome will glisten.

 There is no end.

Lights!

The cloth that changed my life!

We also bought the Ultimate Mop.

With the January rain and thaw

Gnocchi tracks mud into the house

Each and every time he wanders in.

“Come on in, Gnocchi,” I say gleefully,

“track up my floor so I can use my new mop.”

CLOSE

A friend told me another friend’s husband had died.

She read it in the newspaper;

Even cut it out.

But she threw it away because she thought I would know.

I was devastated. 

Not so much for the one who died;

But for my friend who would miss him so much.

He also would be suffering with the separation.

When we got home, still heavy at heart,

I tried to find something on the Internet.

Nothing in the obituaries;

I held out hope.

But she had cut it out. . .

Early this morning my husband told me

We had a call from my friend.

“She said that at midnight she got it straightened out.

It was his 90^th Birthday announcement; not his obituary

That she cut out.”

Oh!  Thank heavens!

I couldn’t quite believe it.

I was so elated to hear it wasn’t so!

I would much rather go to his 90^th Birthday Celebration

Than his funeral!

HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY, FRIEND!!!

THE PARADOX WE LIVE WITH EVERYDAY

On his own,

Ed unloads the dishwasher.

“I love to do something I hate,”

he chants.

The first part he speaks with benevolence;

The second part with malevolence.

Finishing unloading, he reiterates:

“I told you

I love doing 

What I hate.”

CHRISTMAS CRUISE - videos

CHRISTMAS CRUISE - Part 6

Playing intense game in Teen HAL

Jonathan was always off with the teens at HAL Teen Hall –

He would sometimes be gone all day.

He’s having so much fun -

pancakes, water balloons, swimming, games, challenges.

He even had a girl come looking for him

And we ran into her at every port.

Driving home, I asked Jonathan

about his little girlfriend

who called him every 5 minutes

and followed him everywhere.

Jonathan & friend in Cabo San Lucas

“She was exhausting,” he said succinctly.

Speaking of exhaustion, one evening at dinner in the formal dining room,

Jonathan fell asleep right in the middle of a mouthful;

Orange sherbet dribbling down his tie, shirt and suit pants.

Two different times, Ed went up to Deck 3 by himself

to watch the tenders and castoff.

When he wants to do something bad enough

He is suddenly very capable.

We baby him too much.

Jonathan thinks he needs to choose his own food in the cafeteria Lido also.

As we joined Ed, hoping to watch them lift the tenders back up,

We watched them carry someone off the ship on a stretcher, suitcase and all.

After the delay, we watched them raise our last tender back onto the ship;

then we watched two sunsets – one over the rocks and one over the ocean.

DeRay said we saw more action than he did in the spy movie Salt.

I’ve had my camera for over a year

And never knew how to use it except on “automatic”.

Techspert Anthony said my camera was set all wrong.

Poor quality pictures.

After the class, I got great photos

of Ed and the sunset.

See what I mean about expanding my world?

Ed & I went to the gym for an hour.  Then we rested.

Then we watched the sunset.

Ed says he doesn’t lounge but I’ve got a picture of him lounging.

One mile walk around the deck after shower at 7 AM.

Three times around is a mile.

Jonathan and I walked it together some and we each walked it alone.

One morning, we had a fun game of ping pong.

 DeRay’s home base was the Crow’s Nest.

That’s where the Internet Café was.

He paid for so many hours of Internet

so he could “work”

A few hours each night.

I don't dare tell you how much he lost;

no more than he had already gained.

The Crow’s Nest on the

10^th Floor had a panoramic view

And he loved to read his Kindle and nap the afternoon away.

Ed & I chose to sit outside.

Ed in the shade and me in the sun.

Ahhhh – healing – redemption – forgiveness.

For what, I don’t know.

It’s just words the sun oozes out.

Ed forfeited the movie to watch the cast off,

then the sunset.

 The last afternoon I got on the elevator with the Cruise Director John Mann.

He mentioned in the program that he was going home with us.

So I asked him where “home” was.

“I grew up in Raytown, Missouri.  I live in Independence now.”

Small world.

He’s been out for four months.

How do they do it?

Off the ship and back on the freeway heading home by 11 AM.

We’re all tired and grouchy.

I rather like traveling with three guys –

no competition for the bathroom.

Now I know a little Tai Chi,

I’ve got another way to look stupid at rest stops.

When we got off the Colorado River Expedition,

we feel exhilarated, like conquerors.

When we got off the cruise ship,

I felt logy, fat, lethargic, pampered, and spoiled.

We got home at 1 AM with stops (all for natural gas except Spanish Fork)

in Victorville, Vegas where we had an In ‘n Out Burger with Clare.

Well, Ed and Jonathan had two.

We hadn’t eaten since breakfast and Ed doesn’t piece.

DeRay sat the burger in front of him and he said “Not enough”

so DeRay immediately ordered another one for him and Jonathan;

St. George;

Cedar City;

Fillmore,

Spanish Fork (to pick up the Pugh History books),

Murray and

home.

After 1,600 miles of dry road

It started to snow/rain on us as we entered Fruit Heights.

And that concludes our Christmas Cruise.

I forgot to mention that during the week

they decorated the ship to the hilt with Christmas trees,

garlands, elves, wreaths, and every manner of festive ornamentation.

 

Oh, yes, and the Red Hatters!  They had so much fun.  This lady lives in St. George.

CHRISTMAS CRUISE - Part 5

You haven't been to Puerto Vallarta unless you take a picture of their symbol.

Tour of Puerto Vallarta, a city of 350,000

 Cathedral in Puerto Vallarta

about halfway down the Pacific Coast of Mexico,

nestled in the foothills of Sierra Madre mountains,

along the edge of Banderas Bay,

one of the largest and deepest bays in the world.

City Beautiful.  90% Catholic.

Two sessions of school.  Average wage $8/day.  Gas $3/gal.

We paid Abraham $70 - $15 each plus $10 tip

because he was exceptionally considerate and helpful.

In Puerto Vallarta, Jonathan honed his bargaining skills.

At the top of a plaza overlooking the ocean and harbor

Jonathan shows us a glass turtle he bought for $20.

“Too much.”

“He wanted $30.”

“Don’t pay over $3.”

We took it back and got Jonathan’s money back;

He bought gifts for himself, his sisters, and Mom

For the $20 he saved and in Cabo

He bought a glass turtle for $3.  No bargaining.

In December?

Sand Sculpture

Oosterdam's Tender that carried us to shore in Cabo San Lucas

We took the tenders into Cabo San Lucas.

Cabo is nestled off the southern tip of Baja, California.

Pirates were the first to escape here,

seeking refuge from the seas in the 16^th century.

Fishermen came later.

Because of the terrain, visitors arrive mostly by ship,

following the same path that led pirates to their strategic peninsula.

The shopping is dismal here.

Jonathan and I spent an hour trying to find a necklace for Jan.

Everything is extremely expensive.

Then we found the T-shirt store that we have been to before.

We thought DeRay & Ed had gone back to the ship but

they showed up in the store.

We ended up spending $65 on t-shirts and junk.

Fun.

Jonathan didn’t get home with the most expensive t-shirt

he bought for his dad.  I guess he set it down somewhere.

Christmas Cruise - Part 4

All dressed up for formal night.

 

As much as I dreaded coming, I’m really having a good time.

I get my world all narrowed down and then I’m forced to expand.

It’s exhilarating.

I find myself enjoying the luxury;

the good abundant food and entertainment,

the classes, fitness – sometimes

there is so much to do

"Erase it!" Ed commands.  In stateroom.

I get confused so I ended up doing nothing.

Just right.

I like having someone pickup, cleanup, make my bed, do my laundry; spoil me.

I’m beginning to dread getting home to responsibility.

Riding Free & Compulsory Shuttle to town.

Mazatlan today!  We sauntered off the ship around 10:30.

We got whisked into a van that already had

six Mormons from Arizona in it.

We had to climb clear into the back.

It was only $10 each and the Mormons were very nice.

At least we didn’t waste our time stopping for drinks.

But we didn’t see or hear much.

Mazatlan was settled in 1531 by the Spaniards.

Before the Spanish, native Indians called the Totorames settled the area.

Our cruise ship is larger than the whole city!

They were hunters and fisherman, and adept at making clay vases and figures.

Next, the conquistador Francisco de Ibarra

discovered gold and silver in the hills above Mazatlan.

In 1603, pirates began dominating the waters around Mazatlan. After numerous wars, it became the home of one of the largest tuna and shrimp fishing fleets in the world. With the opening of new high-end hotels and restaurants, Mazatlan is quickly becoming a world-class tourist resort.

I know when Lana and I were here over 20 years ago,

Mazatlan

President Reagan met with the Mexican President Fox (as I remember it)

in a hotel just up from us.  I think it was the El Cid.

One second too soon!  DANG.

I was looking for a chain for Nan to go with the pendant Lana made for her birthday so our driver did take us to Michael’s.

I bought three chains and a necklace for Amy

that she actually likes and wears.

I wish we had bought one for Jan.

Jonathan ended up spending

a lot of time and more money

Mazatlan's Famous Cathedral

for her pendant (in Cabo).  

Driving down, we stopped at Wal*Mart and Grandpa

Bought Jonathan a watch for $15.

He needed to know what time it was so he could check

In and we could keep in touch.

After touring Mazatlan,

We make made arrangements for Jonathan

to hang out with Ed while we went to a class.

Jonathan never showed up.

When he finally came to the room,

I mentioned that he had missed his appointment.

“I lost track of time,” he explained.

I looked at his wrist for the first time.

“Did you lose your watch?”

“I took it off when I went swimming

and when I got my clothes, it was gone.”

“Didn’t Grandpa tell you not to take it off?

It’s good for 40 meters under water.”

He reported it to the purser’s office,

Never checking back to see if they found it.

A couple of days later, I happened to be passing the purser’s desk

So I asked about Jonathan’s watch.

Jonathan recovering his lost watch from the purser.

“What kind is it?”

“I don’t know.”

He found a watch

and noted one has been reported lost

But he wouldn’t give it to me because it wasn’t mine.

Jonathan happened to be in the room,

So he went back and claimed his watch.

“I’m not going to take if off

for the rest of my life,”

he said happily as he strapped it on his wrist.

“Well, at least for the life of the watch,”

we counseled.