Showing posts with label Cellophane. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Cellophane. Show all posts

Monday, May 19, 2014

All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir


Gays.
Gun Control.
Global Warming.
Did you know forest fires emit more pollution than all the cars on earth?
And volcanos?  There are always at least five erupting at any given time emitting fumes.
The weather fluctuates.  Always has.  Always will. 
A professor (by name) I know at Utah State who invented the heat shield for the space rockets submitted a report on global warming word for word like the scientists at some prestigious institution back east but on the front one said “evidence against global warming” and the other said “for global warming” and the one for global warming got the so many million dollar grant.  It’s all political.
Know-it-all.
Muslims.
Did you know the Koran is evil?  Evil.  Evil. Evil.
He has read it, have you?
Did you know Mohammad had a 14-year-old wife and an 11-year-old wife?
Well,
who are we to talk?
Am I wrong in assuming that all religions
are based on the divine fundamental core 
of the Golden Rule?
Women’s rights.
Priesthood.
Women can’t hold the priesthood because then what would the men do?
Obama.
Constitution.
The only books you ever need to read are the Bible and the Book of Mormon.  I read them cover to cover, front to back.
One hour and 20 minutes of lambasting some of the views I cherish and hold most dear as if we think like he thinks.
I’m friends with Mitt Romney.
I’m friends with Orrin Hatch.
I’m friends with the Governor.
I know many people in high places.
Does he think we are stupid?
Egocentric.
Homogenous.
Prejudice.
Arrogant.
Narrow minded.
Conceited.
Vain.
Insensitive
Self-absorbed.
Self-obsessed.
Careless.
Amy finally came in and said dinner is ready.  She’d heard enough.  “Do you want to eat with us?”  “No, we’ll have a prayer, then leave.”
A prayer?  After the way you’ve castigated all of God’s children who do not believe exactly as you do?
“I’ll say it,” he boasts, like we don't know how.
Amy has four little Muslim students in her class.
“Did you tell him our two cats are Muslim?”
“And one is a black Muslim.”  Oooooooooh.
"Too bad they are opposite sex
or they could be gay too."
I seethe.
It’s about more than I can bear each month.

Next morning
the Visiting Teachers came.
They retold the story President Monson
told in General Conference about the little boy
who was bleeding so they had to make an emergency landing
causing other passengers to miss connecting flights
but not one person grumbled or complained.
“And I’ll bet some of them weren’t even Mormon,”
her partner concluded.
Are we the only nice people in the world?

Are you discriminating against the elderly?
For 10 years we’ve been going to the Clearfield pool.
For 10 years we fit in as best we can.
The swimmers swim and the players play,
mindful of each other’s space.
Today, two people were in the first swim lane;
and one in the narrower second;
So Eddy and I went to the next lane.
More than half of the pool was empty.
Four little kids were on the steps in a swimming lesson.
A life guard came up to me and said,
“You can’t swim here.”
“Where do you want us to swim?”
“You’ll have to wait.”
“Wait?  When half the pool is empty?”
“Yes.”
A guy in the first lane heard us and said,
“I’m getting out.  You can swim here.”
So I put Eddy in his lane.
Soon the girl in the second lane got out
and the fellow swimming with Eddy
offered to move over and let me swim there.
Soon another guy came in and got in the lane where
Eddy and I tried to swim.
No one said a word to him.
Soon others came and there were three or four swimming
there like we’ve done for ten years now.
I couldn’t let it go.
When we got out,
I went over to this life-guard and asked
if he were discriminating against the elderly.
He said he wasn’t,
What would you think?

It’s a great big wide wonderful world.

Sunday, June 2, 2013

Mr. Cellophane Celebrates




I can’t say for sure how it was for DeRay before we were married.
His brother, two years younger, was trouble and a scene-stealer;
while DeRay quietly hoed the weeds and milked the cow solo.
He can never remember a birthday party.
When he was baptized, someone came along and picked the kids up
off the street and took them to the church.
They were baptized in their swim suits.
No parents.
I know he got on the bus the morning after high school graduation
journeying to Salt Lake City to find a job to put himself through college.
I remember he went in the army without even telling his parents goodbye.
That's the story of my life, nobody notice I'm around, nobody
Not even my parents noticed me.
One day I went to school, and when I came home, they'd moved!
Our two oldest children were both born in May; the same month as DeRay.
By the time we celebrated both of their birthdays;
and usually were preparing for a camping trip
as soon as school let out, I’m afraid he didn’t get much attention.
We simply couldn’t face one more birthday cake.
One year, I’m ashamed to say, we completely forgot his birthday
until we left Bob Creek and went to Kanab where his family
wished him a Happy Birthday.
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there!
He is so totally kind and considerate;
Gruff; as a cover-up;
He would do anything for anyone.
He has and does.
Did you hear me?
no you did'nt hear me.
From the first day of our marriage,
he looked after my widowed mother.
He towed a car to Canada for her son
who was on a mission there.
He drove her to that same son’s wedding
in Idaho a few years later.
He has chauffeured our family to Island Park
many times for family reunions;
to the Arizona Strip where Daddy ran sheep
and where none of us had ever been;
to Muddy Mission Country where our great grandparents
eked out a living under divine directive.
He built a family room in Mama’s basement
after Uncle Ed finished with his woodworking.
He took her for her cobalt treatments more times
than anyone else in the family.
When she planned to retire as Post Master;
he advised her to take sick leave
then retire, thus receiving full salary for a year.
He has lighted and heated the home of my sister
since her husband died;
bought and installed television options;
fixed leaky toilets and spear-headed the painting of her house.
He has loved every minute of it.
Right now, he has lost his zest for shopping
without his two widow customers
for whom he bargain shops.
Olive is temporarily in a convalescent home
and 92-year-old Sylvia went to Vegas for a few days--
not to gamble (she claims) but to see a niece.
Suppose you was a little cat
Residin' in a person's flat
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears?
You'd notice him
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
 walk right by me
And never know I'm there. . .
At the Pugh Reunion,
he cooks sour dough hot cakes and makes sour dough biscuits
for everyone, no matter how late they straggle in
or how many hours he has been standing on his sore feet.
Plantar fasciitis.
He has invited his family on the houseboat
and to condos;
yet when  his birthday comes around,
only the very closest remember.
I tell ya
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there
Never even know I'm there
Even our own children have forgotten his birthday.
When our married son and his wife and daughter
were living in our basement,
they totally missed his birthday.
He doesn’t get a lot of adulation and thanks
for all his does for all of them.
They probably think he doesn’t want it.
So why does he call himself
The Cellophane Man?
And even without clucking like a hen
Everyone gets noticed, now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible, inconsequential me!
Cellophane
Mister cellophane
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there!
There is no place that is truer
than in the halls of the church;
and in our neighborhood.
(except for a couple of exceptions.)
A human being's made of more that air
With all that bulk , you're bound to see him there
Unless that human bein' next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished
You know who. . .
Should have been my name
Mister cellophane
'cause you can look right through me
Walk right by me
And never know I'm there.
Never even know I'm there.
Mister Cellophane Lyrics

Chicago The Musical

This year he turned 79.

He can’t forget that

both his dad and Uncle Robert

died at age 79.

**We were determined to celebrate**

(for a change.)

Lunch at a Thai Restaurant

 A matinee musical at Pioneer Memorial Theater
 A visit with Aunt Olive at Avalon
 Brooke and Elizabeth called and invited us to dinner at ElMatador
 Brent, Jan, and children called while we were at the restaurant.
 

  And last but not least, Marie Callender's Razzledazzle pie and TurkeyHill Homemade Vanilla ice cream compliments of Emily and Bob Smith, as well as carrot cake at home afterwards.
 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Mr. Cellophane