Significant Problems

Mass exodus from Mormonism? LDS stats paint a different picture

By Peggy Fletcher Stack, The Salt Lake Tribune

First Published Nov 02 2016 10:09PM

(Excerpts from article.)

.  .Attorney Mark Naugle, a former Mormon in South Jordan, says he has personally submitted about 12,500 letters to the LDS Church in the past year from members asking to have their names removed from the faith's membership rolls. He has received requests from most states, Naugle says, as well as from Japan, New Zealand, Thailand, France, Germany, Great Britain and South Africa, to name a few.

     "And there are plenty more," he says, "who tell me my services are not necessary" — that they know how to excise their memberships without his help.

     The LDS Church acknowledges "periodic increases or decreases in [such] requests," explains spokesman Eric Hawkins, but "the number of people asking to have their names removed from the records of the church has been less than one-tenth of 1 percent (less than 1 in 1,000) for more than 20 consecutive years, including in 2015 and the first eight months of 2016."

     That means of the 15,634,199 members reported by The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in April, fewer than 15,634 have or will resign this year.

     That figure pales in comparison to, say, the 257,402 converts who joined the church in 2015.

Hawkins says other "important statistics" demonstrate the continuing "activity [rate] of individual adult members, such as endowed members with a current temple recommend and full tithe payers."

     In all areas, he writes in an email, "the upward growth has continued [during that same period]." . . . . .

Comments:

John P. Hatch: I'll keep saying it: the quip that "they leave the church but they cannot leave it alone" is false. Those who resign, those who post at r/ex-Mormon, they are the least of the church's worries. It's those huge numbers of inactives, the people who just don't care anymore because they're bored to tears or don't see the church as relevant to their lives, that's what is really (or should be) troubling.

Rick Robison: Exactly! I've had two family members (one is my son that was in a bishopric two years ago) recently go inactive because the "policy" triggered him to do more research and they are nonbelievers now. No resignation (yet) though...

Maxine Hanks: Very interesting story Peggy, thanks. Losing 15,600 members per year who resign-- is still a huge number of people -- whose lives are drastically changed, deeply affected, with enormous far-reaching effects on other lives. An annual loss of 15,600 in any organization indicates significant problems in need of solving. And if they aren't solved, more will leave. Every member's life, contributions, sacrifices matter. If 15,600 people can't be themselves or authentic or contribute in real ways, or be safe, or nourished, or appreciated or needed or belong, but feel they have to leave, that's a clear failure. We can do far better and must do better than making 15,600 people feel they must leave. It's not about numbers or quantity....as Jesus demonstrated with the one. It's about Lives and quality.

Kristine Miller Anderson: 1 in 1000 is what I probably would have guessed, but for everyone I know who had their name removed there were 10 that stopped going. For every 10 who stopped going I know 25 holding on by their fingertips. For every 25 just holding on I probably know 100 whose relationship with the church is permanently altered. etc.

     Maxine Hanks touched on a subject that has long been on my mind. When the 1993 September Six were excommunicated, President Hinckley quipped something like, “What’s six compared to 9 million?” I lamented to Lavina that perhaps he had forgotten the parable of the Lost Sheep.

The Parable of the Lost Sheep

Luke 15:3-7 King James Version (KJV)

3 And he spake this parable unto them, saying,

4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing.

6 And when he cometh home, he calleth together his friends and neighbours, saying unto them, Rejoice with me; for I have found my sheep which was lost.

7 I say unto you, that likewise joy shall be in heaven over one sinner that repenteth, more than over ninety and nine just persons, which need no repentance.
            ( Although, in my mind, they were not sinners. For me, the parable emphasizes that each life is of great worth.)

             “Every member's life, contributions, sacrifices matter. If 15,600 people can't be themselves or authentic or contribute in real ways, or be safe, or nourished, or appreciated or needed or belong, but feel they have to leave, that's a clear failure.”

Personally, I’m not just thinking about LGBT and their families. I’m thinking about the disabled, special needs, the elderly, divorced, single, women; the judged, the poor; the sick and tired and their families – everyone on the fringes who doesn’t feel he/she belongs, let alone needed or appreciated; or valued in any way.

Maxine Hanks was excommunicated as one of the September Six in 1993 for her involvement in compiling and editing the book Women and Authority: Re-emerging Latter-day Saint Feminism. At the time she said how she was happy to be out and done with the church. She took a 20-year journey of faith where she became a chaplain in a Protestant church, and recently went through the long process of being re-admitted into the Mormon Church.  

Families and Open Adoption October 13, 2016

There was a time when adoptions were a source of shame for a birth mother, and weren’t discussed in the adoptive family. But that slowly changed with birth control, a demographic shift in babies available for adoption, and the “adoption rights movement.” Today, 95% of infants in the U.S. are placed in “open adoptions” where the birth mother and the family have some sort of contact. Thursday, we’re talking about how adoption has changed over time, and what it means for children and families.

     Listening to Dr. Doug Frabrezio’s podcast on Open Adoptions, I unexpectedly realized a profound truth.  I listened to it because of my interest in adoption. What I got out of it was something entirely different.

At the beginning of the program, Doug revealed that he was adopted in the 60’s when adoptions were closed. You knew nothing. No medical records, no nothing. (Jeanne, adopted in the 60’s, was 5 months old before we found out she had a congenital hip deformity, which is hereditary. Usually they discover it at birth. If we had known she had a propensity for it and found it sooner, she would not have had to be in a brace for so long and wouldn’t have missed the critical creeping and crawling stages.  When I called the LDS Adoption Agency to ask them if they had record of it, they didn’t say. All they said was: “Do you want to return her?”  That blew my mind. Upset me to the core. Return her? Is that the way you talk about my baby? She is not damaged merchandize. She is our child. I told them I simply wondered if they had withheld helpful medical information.)

The first person Doug interviewed was Amy, a 40-year-old landscape architect who gave her baby up for adoption. It was an open adoption. She sees him to this day. They had no contracts as far as visitations rights, photos, contact; they trusted each other. She interviewed many couples before she chose this one and it has worked out well. Yet she grieves. She can’t touch him. She yearned to hold him.  She feels like it would be a betrayal to his parents if she told him what is in her heart. She thinks he might feel a loss too.  In her dream she touched him, tousled his hair. “The fantastic thing was touching him.”  When she awoke, she realized she would never ever ever be her son’s mother.  When she found out she was pregnant, she realized what she felt was the early seeds of a lifelong grief.  She felt she didn’t have a right to grieve or make others aware of her grief.  Her social worker told her that grief would eventually fade away. “It doesn’t. It changes. Now I’m missing a 16 year-old; next year I’ll be missing a 17-year-old.” They text and email and he asks her questions but they are noncommittal and simple.  She wrote the book God and Jetfire, Confessions of a Birth Mother by Amy Seek; in which she writes in beautiful prose how “In my dreams, I can touch you.”

Reviews: “My son,” she writes over and over. It is important that she is able to claim her rightful role, but her sadness and loss is tied up with ownership. Still, I have not read a more comprehensive book on the grieving that accompanies the adoption process. Seek’s eloquent if occasionally self-­indulgent prose makes this important memoir resonate. As she shows, adoption does not end when a child changes hands. It’s a sad, lovely and continuing conversation that she bravely documents.   New York Times Sunday’s Book Review (last paragraph) By JENNIFER GILMOREJULY 20, 2015

Written with literary poise and distinction, God and Jetfire is the story of a life divided between grief and gratitude, regret and joy. It is an elegy for a lost motherhood, a celebration of a family gained, and an apology to a beloved son.

Next Doug had an emeritus history professor who wrote a book 20 years ago on the history of adoption. He talked about how adoptions used to be secret and shameful; closed records. Unwed pregnant women were considered neurotic, psychosomatic, very sick; and it was best for the child to separate them from their mothers.  The mother was feeble minded for having a child out of wedlock and the child was carrying the feeble minded gene.  (I wonder where the fathers were. They were probably brilliant.)  After World War II, it was considered patriotic to have children and those who couldn’t, in desperation, adopted.

Then he introduced a couple from Salt Lake City who adopted a baby boy in an open adoption. Emily, who lives back east, is the birth mother; Tyson, the father, lives in SLC.  Curt and Jerry are the parents. Jerry is an adoptee himself.

“All four people love him and want the best for him.”

They were so full of love. They’ve had their trials. One lost a brother; then he came out to his very LDS parents. But the kindness and love oozed from both of them.

There is only one person who can carry the title “Mother” in our family. He has three fathers: Papa, Daddy, and Tyson but Emily is his only mother.

“All four of us love him so much.”

No matter how much we love him, Emily and Tyson love him too and they will always be his parents.  There cannot be too much love for a child. We love Oscar. He is our son. We love Emily because she is part of our family.

Emily wanted us there when he was born; she wanted us to be the first ones to hold Oscar.

Grief and joy at the same time.

Open adoption is not co-parenting.  His birth mother doesn’t make day-to-day decisions.

We don’t like to hear “giving up a child for adoption”. That’s a swear word in our house.  Giving up or give up connotes a sense of loss. We say a child is placed.

Curt and Jerry want the birth parents to be physical (hugs) with Oscar if they want to.

Emily’s experience is just as important as ours and Oscar’s. The best thing for all of us is for her to stay involved.

I feel so privileged to be his father.

The first part of this podcast was about grief and loss.

The second part was statistical and scholarly.

The third part was about love, joy, and acceptance.

The profound truth I learned today:

The reason God put gay people on earth was to show us how to love. Truly love. Not fake love. True unconditional enlightening edifying love.  Heartfelt and genuine. And I felt that so keenly today just listening to Curt and Jerry tell their story.

Re adoption, personally I have ambivalent feelings. We have been rejected and hurt by adopting. No, we weren’t perfect parents but we did the best we could. I have always maintained that I don’t blame our daughter because I don’t know what it feels like to be adopted. On the other hand, she doesn’t know what it feels like to be an adoptive parent.  We had hopes and dreams too.  We felt a keen sense of responsibility, love, and gratitude for her.  I remember driving up the hill toward home one dark stormy ominous night holding her in my arms and I thought: “How could anyone trust us with this precious baby? What if harm comes to her?” I don’t know how God trusts any of us with tiny, helpless babies. They are so beautiful and vulnerable.

60th Wedding Anniversary

I have learned that
the older you get
the more like yourself you become;

The more your DNA kicks in;

The more your authentic self emerges.

You become what you were meant to be.

Cai gets more Danish;

Spending more time in Denmark;

Speaking more Danish;

And things like that.

 DeRay's dresser & floor.

 My dresser.

 DeRay's drawer.

 My drawer.

 DeRay's desk

My desk.

This year DeRay and I are celebrating our 60th Wedding Anniversary

We neither one have managed to change the other.

Only becoming more of what we were destined to be.

Yes, of course,

he handles all the business,

solves all the problems,

figures everything out,

earns the money,

does all the grocery shopping,

vacation planning,

and gardening.

But that's another blog.

And his dresser isn't always this messy,
although he would be perfectly happy
if it were.

No retribution, DeRay.

Chillingly,
the traits are passed on.

Four days after Amy fixed the brakes on her bike,
the tools are still scattered
and she probably wonders
why she can't park in the garage.
Like her father.

Bear One Another's Burdens

Both the Church and the Governor of Utah issued statements early in December stating that we should accept Syrian refugees because we come from a persecuted past and we know what it’s like. Then they cite examples of the Saints being driven from Ohio, Illinois and Missouri, who even had an extermination order out for them. Also, the United States attempted to enact a law to keep immigrants from coming in because the Mormons were bringing so many converts to Zion.

Because we have a history of persecution seems a conceited and selfish reason to welcome in Syrian refugees. It seems to me that the State of Utah and the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints would want to welcome Syrian refugees because they are fellow human beings; fleeing the violence of their homeland; victims of torture, tempest-toss souls risking, starving, suffering endlessly.  Wouldn’t we want to feed the hungry, provide housing for the homeless, and succor the sick and lonely because they are our brothers and sisters?

You can see they are all terrorists - especially the ones under 12.

Matthew 25:35-46 (KJV)

³⁵ For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in:

³⁶ Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me.

³⁷ Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink?

³⁸ When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee?

³⁹ Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee?

⁴⁰ And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Isaiah 58:30 - And [if] thou draw out thy soul to the hungry, and satisfy the afflicted soul; then shall thy light rise in obscurity, and thy darkness [be] as the noonday

James 2:15-18

If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,

And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be (ye) warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what (doth it ) profit?

Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone.

Yea, a many may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works.

 Proverbs 28:27 - He that giveth unto the poor shall not lack: but he that hideth his eyes shall have many a curse.

Luke 3-11 - He answereth and saith unto them, He that hath two coats, let him impart to him that hath none; and he that hath meat, let him do likewise.

1 John 3:17-18 - But whoso hath this world's good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels [of compassion] from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?

My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth.

Proverbs 14:31 - He that oppresseth the poor reproacheth his Maker: but he that honoureth him hath mercy on the poor.

Proverbs 31:20 - She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

Proverbs 22:9 - He that hath a bountiful eye shall be blessed; for he giveth of his bread to the poor.

Romans 12:20 - Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head.

Galatians 6:2 - Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. 

We're All God's Children?

 

Here comes Santa Claus, here comes Santa Claus, 
Right down Santa Claus lane
He doesn't care if you're rich or poor
He loves you just the same
Santa Claus knows we're all God’s children
That makes everything right
So fill your hearts with Christmas cheer
'Cause Santa Claus comes tonight! 

How many times have I sang along with "Here Comes Santa Claus" through the years? This year is the first time that I realized that Santa Claus knows we're all God's children and that he doesn't care if we're rich or poor, he loves us just the same.

Why does that seem so important at this time?

Love did not create this LDS policy, and it won’t survive | The Salt Lake Tribune

Julienna Viegas­Haws

PUBLISHED: DECEMBER 18, 2015 

It is reassuring to see strong believing Mormons, along with progressive and postMormons, raise their voices against the new policy excluding children with married gay parents from receiving important ordinances in the LDS Church.

These withheld ordinances include baptism commonly performed at the age of 8 years old. All the important ordinances in the Mormon church are now being put on hold until the age of 18 for children of married gay couples — after the children disavow their parents’ marriage.

This is baffling coming from a church that teaches in its own scriptures that Christ invites all to come unto him through baptism and that men will be punished for their own sins.

Thousands of members have officially resigned from their affiliation with the church or slipped away quietly because this new policy was the last straw for them.

All the major media sources have picked up on the outrage of too many affected directly or indirectly by this new policy. Righteous indignation finds its place in this issue. Many hope that the prophet and apostles will take this opportunity to closely look at the way they are acting “in the name of God.”

In an explanatory statement on the policy, Elder D. Todd Christofferson claimed that the policy was based upon love. However, neither he nor supporters of this policy are able to illustrate any positive outcome from it. So far the major outcomes of this policy have been bafflement, broken hearts and homes in deep turmoil. It is hard to believe that the leaders of the Mormon Church sat together with the goal of increasing love and fellowship for children of gay parents, then came up with this policy as a result. The lack of transparency and dishonesty of the leaders is extremely hurtful.

What the leaders tend to forget is that the only power they truly have is the one members of the church are willing to give them. By intentionally veiling the true reasons for the new policy they show that what they did was not inspired. How can the members see this policy as coming from God? Many foresee this new policy going down in LDS history as a future “mistake from the past.”

Prophets and apostles advocated in favor of polygamy, against racial desegregation, against the ERA, against the civil rights movement all in the name of divine inspiration. As political pressure mounted, they flipped on the more humane and commonly accepted side. The outside pressure became too strong and sudden “revelations” appeared to change the position of the church. One would think that because the leaders claim such proximity to Christ, they would be in the forefront of social justice issues. But it hasn’t been the case. It is usually after significant outside pressure that the church suddenly changes its stances.

LGBTQ allies in and out of the church have hopes to see the leaders act more humanely toward our LGBTQ sisters and brothers. Groups such as Mormon Building Bridges, Mama Dragons, the Mormon Mental Health Association, the Out in Zion Podcast participants and others are working very hard to foster understanding and complete acceptance of our LGBTQ brothers and sisters. We know that eventually the leaders will come around to fully accept and embrace the complexities of human sexuality. In the meantime many are suffering.

Many members wish the LDS Church were leading the cause for social justice rather than being forced to accept the equality that others are fighting for.

I have no doubt that Mormonism’s position on gay marriage, including this new policy, will eventually change. At some point in time, the outside pressure will become so great that their obsolete position will no longer be tenable. Until this change happens, an increasing number is left wondering what the real reasons were for creating this painful new policy because it certainly was not love.

Julienna Viegas­Haws was born and raised in Belgium. She served an LDS mission on Temple Square and graduated with a B.A. in international politics from Brigham Young University. She currently lives in Texas with her husband and three children.

Needs of the People

Like many others, I’ve been shocked and in mourning over the additions to the Bishop’s Handbook incorporated last Thursday. My niece has posted heartbreaking stories on Facebook. With the first one, she wrote: "I too am a psychotherapist who has worked with many Mormon LGBTQ clients who struggle with the enormous pain of rejection by parents, religion, and perceived rejection by God. It ain't worth it folks. It is a life or death issue, and trying to justify this new Church policy puts you on the wrong side. Someday, in years or decades, the Church too will acknowledge that they were wrong."

In his column today, Paul Rolly wrote:

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is looking for a social science researcher and, according to the ad it placed on the Linkedin business network site, would like to fill the position by January.

The job description explains that the candidate — preferably someone with an advanced degree in social and behavioral sciences — would provide the general authorities and other Mormon administrators with "timely, relevant and reliable information to help them respond to the diverse challenges and opportunities of a fast-growing church in a rapidly changing world. This information enables church leaders to focus their efforts to greater effect in helping individuals and families come unto Christ."

Considering the recent policy change that keeps children of same-sex couples out of the Utah-based faith until they are adults and the public reaction to that shift, the sooner a social science trend adviser gets on board, the better. (end of Rolly column)

If reading the new guidelines makes you cry even though it doesn't affect you personally and you're not prone to tears, it's a true tragedy.

Quite a few years ago, I was sitting in a circle while Lowell Bennion talked about his experiences as a Bishop. He founded the Institute of Religion at the University of Utah in 1934. He was a personal friend of David O. McKay, but wasn’t called to be bishop until his waning years. Of all of his callings, including on General Boards, he probably enjoyed most of all a three-year tenure as bishop of the East Millcreek 12th Ward.  Listening to his tender stories of what went on in his ward, someone asked him about the Bishop’s Handbook. “You can either read the handbook or take care of the needs of the people,” he explained. “I prefer to take care of the needs of the people,” this elderly humanitarian said with a twinkle in his eye.

If every Bishop were like that, we wouldn’t need to send 85,000 missionaries out in the field to try to convert people. Everyone would be clamoring to join the church just to be loved. 

On several occasions, Hugh B. Brown said something like, "In this Church, we break rules not hearts" or "Rules are meant to be broken, not hearts."

Sure didn't seem to feel like that for Lance Allred.

I was a pawn in LDS bullying and intimidation 

By Lance Allred First Published Nov 21 2015

One of the most alarming things for me about the new stance of the LDS Church toward children of gay families is how church leaders are using polygamy as a precedent to defend and explain the new policy. Essentially, they are saying that polygamists are second ­class citizens and have to completely disavow their families in order to be baptized. The same now applies to children of people in same­-sex relationships and marriages. It is already going to be socially difficult for children to live in Utah if their parents are gay and those children still want to go to church. Now we are outright making the kids pariahs, not worthy of baptism. Not only do they need to be embarrassed because of their families, but they need to be outcasts as well. The whole notion that church leaders are protecting the children, protecting them from a disjointed experience at home, is disgusting. Share This Article I grew up in polygamy through no choice of my own. And because of that, I was on the fringes, an "apostate." When my family moved to Utah from our polygamous commune in 1987, the Allred name was still fresh and synonymous with my grandfather Rulon Allred, who had been assassinated in 1977. My parents actually wanted us kids to attend the local LDS ward, because they wanted us to have a safer and more moderate upbringing. But we were turned away because of our family name and because my father was not ready at the time to disown his family, brothers and mothers. Consequently, I was branded with a scarlet letter, the biggest kid in my grade with giant hearing aids and a funny way of talking. On top of all that, if there is one thing a Mormon doesn't like, it's a polygamist Mormon. The bullying and constant feeling of being "less than" among my classmates was brutal. This happened because I was paying the price for the choices and actions of my ancestors. I was being punished for my father's sins, and not my own: a direct conflict of the Second Article of Faith. I was a pawn in the church's grown­up version of bullying and intimidation, and now the children of gay people are, too. The most serious harm is not going to come from the kids not being in church, fully welcomed, it will come from the social ostracizing at school and their community. The LDS Church and its devout followers are playing coy and completely disregarding the social ramifications a child will endure when it flippantly says, "When they are 18 they can be baptized." Sure, when they are 18, after going through their most formative years as a teen, through a gantlet of mental abuse, developing who knows what kind of emotional complexes and illnesses. But, too bad, because their parents are apostates. Eventually, after my father discovered serious abuse within the council of the Apostolic United Brethren, we did flee, and then and only then, after we were to denounce our heritage, our line, sitting through tough meetings with the First Presidency of the LDS Church, we were allowed to join the Mormon faith. For five years after my family left polygamy when I was 13, I was embarrassed, ashamed of my past, of my heritage. I had to disavow everyone. For fear of not belonging, I disowned my cousins, my best friends that I left behind, so my family and I could be accepted into the new world that we entered. I had tremendous guilt through my teenage years. Yet, as I have grown and gained more perspective through my travels around the world, and as I speak of it onstage, I have become proud of my line, of my cousins, my family, my aunts and uncles, who chose or had to remain in polygamy. And to this point, yes, there are monsters in polygamy and many victims, especially children. Imagine how many of those, especially in the Jeffs or Kingston clans, who are in violent and abusive situations, would find the courage to leave if the LDS Church spent more time welcoming them, had an outreach program, instead of pointing a finger, alienating and drawing a line in the sand. People in need of help are never going to go ask for help from someone who has been judging them and calling them sinners all of their lives.

Lance Allred is a motivational speaker, author, host of "Culture Jock" on KRCL 90.9 FM and was the first deaf player in the NBA. SLTRIBUNE

For a long time I have loved and pondered this statement:

“What do we live for if not to make life less difficult for each other?” George Eliot.

This I believe

God does not write the Handbook.

Rainbow Girl

A new section in Handbook 1, 16.13 will be added as follows: Children of a Parent Living in a Same-Gender Relationship. The following additions to Handbook 1 have been approved by the Council of the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles for immediate implementation:

A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may not receive a name and a blessing.

A natural or adopted child of a parent living in a same-gender relationship, whether the couple is married or cohabiting, may be  baptized and confirmed, ordained, or recommended for missionary service only as follows: A mission president or a stake president may request approval from the Office of the First Presidency to baptize and confirm, ordain, or recommend missionary service for a child of a parent who has lived or is living in a same-gender relationship when he is satisfied by personal interviews that both of the following requirements are met:

1.         The child accepts and is committed to live the teachings and doctrine of the Church, and specifically disavows the practice of same-gender cohabitation and marriage.

2.         The child is of legal age and does not live with a parent who has lived or currently lives in a same-gender cohabitation relationship or marriage.

  November 3, 2015

Handbook 1, number 6.7.2 is to be updated immediately as follows: When a Disciplinary Council May Be Necessary Serious Transgression

. . . It includes (but is not limited to) attempted murder, forcible rape, sexual abuse, spouse abuse, intentional serious physical injury of others, adultery, fornication, homosexual relations (especially sexual cohabitation), deliberate abandonment of family responsibilities, . . .

Handbook 1, number 6.7.3 is also to be updated immediately as follows: When a Disciplinary Council is Mandatory Apostasy.

As used here, apostasy refers to members who:

1.           Repeatedly act in clear, open, and deliberate public opposition to the Church or its leaders.

2.           Persist in teaching as Church doctrine information that is not Church doctrine after

         they have been corrected by their bishop or a higher authority.

3.            Continue to follow the teachings of apostate sects (such as those that advocate plural marriage) after being corrected by their bishop or a higher authority.

4.             Are in a same-gender marriage.

5.             Formally join another church and advocate its teachings.

Not under moral transgressions but “apostasy”?

As someone wrote: "Probably worth noting that the new policy appears to put legal same-sex marriage on par with murder, rape, sexual abuse, etc....but it's almost worse, because children of murderers can still get baptized."
PLUS, it's legal so I do not consider the parents sinning either. Of course, I never did. 

Dear Mormon leaders: Know the truth about homosexuality

BY SAM WOLFE PUBLISHED: NOVEMBER 21, 2015 SLTRIBUNE

To Mormon leaders: As a child, I attended weekly Sunday school bearing a secret, knowing that it was unsafe to tell anyone. I heard only negativity about gay people. Such lessons sank deep: being gay is a “perversion,” so I was a perversion. No visible LGBTQ people existed in my world. Being discovered could mean death — like Matthew Shepard, who a Mormon raised boy crucified, hanging him to bleed to death on a desolate Wyoming fence one bitter night. My teenage body became emaciated through fasting and prayer upon dark Pacific seas while an airman fighting what you said was my dragon to slay. For years, I pled for fortitude to overcome what you taught was a temptation. Later, I served two years as a missionary managing to hide my homosexuality for fear of being sent home in disgrace. At Brigham Young University, I tried conversion therapy in the counseling center modeled from Joseph Nicolosi. His theories deceived many: homosexuality is a developmental disorder surmountable through “therapy” to reach one’s “full potential.” Earlier aversion therapy at BYU hooked boys’ penises to heinous contraptions while inducing vomiting when aroused to cure a disease that does not exist. One night, a brother from the conversion¬ therapy group planned to leap off a cliff in Provo Canyon to release the pain of your false teachings. We saved him. Yet untold others are lost — including Stuart, whose blood stains the steps of a Mormon chapel, his final plea, a senseless sacrifice, for greater understanding. Members embraced me when I came out during testimony meeting asking whether there is a place for us. But leadership swiftly convened a court. That stormy night in a room without air ¬conditioning, 17 men held an appalling trial with false witnesses. By 2 a.m., the stake president pronounced excommunication for “apostasy”— a severing from the church of my pioneer ancestors and eternal damnation — because I showed up at church as a self ¬affirming gay person. My story is not unique. More than 500,000 Mormons are LGBTQ. My parents named me after a Book of Mormon prophet, Samuel, a Lamanite. Lamanites were outsiders to the church that had become corrupted. He famously stood upon the city walls saying what the Lord put into his heart. You teach to liken scriptures to ourselves. Following Samuel’s example, the Lord has put this into my heart: General and local leaders of this church must repent for failing to follow the Sermon on the Mount, the Golden Rule and the First and Second Great Commandments. Samuel asked then as now: “How long will you suffer yourselves to be led by foolish and blind guides? How long will ye choose darkness rather than light?” Justice cries out: Wo unto you for professing to lead Christ’s church while failing to love LGBTQ people as yourselves! Wo until you whose hands are stained with the blood of LGBTQ souls! Wo unto you for spiritual violence against LGBTQ people and our children, while waving banners of “religious freedom” and “family values”— blind to the worth of our families and denying our religious freedom to remain a part of our faith! Wo unto you for purposeful ignorance to light and knowledge available in plain sight! I am filled with the Spirit of indignation out of love for my LGBTQ brothers and sisters, whom to know is to love, as Jesus has loved you. Such a love would reveal to you an understanding now proven by social scientists: supportive environments toward LGBTQ people correspond with positive mental and physical health outcomes. Hostile, unaccepting environments yield the opposite. Samuel Wolfe is an attorney living in Alabama. 

Ironically, the front of the Fruit Heights 7^th Ward bulletin for Sunday November 15, 2015, reads:

When the scribes and the Pharisees brought the woman taken in adultery to the Savior, they asked if she should be stoned to death. Jesus ignored the question, but said to them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” The Savior stooped down to write in the sand. As he did so, “one by one, the accusers, thoroughly reproved for their impure lives and motives, began to leave. Not until they had all gone did the Savior stand and face the woman. . .He said to her, “Woman, where are those thine accusers? Hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee; Go and sin no more,” containing, in just a few words, the elements of forgiveness and the prospect of lasting change! Suddenly the focus had reverted from her mortal life to her eternal life. Imagine the memorable impression on her soul as she walked away from her Redeemer, perhaps weeping for joy.” BYU Devotional given by Gary L. Bunker, March 1, 1994. Scriptural reference John 8:6-11.

Am I the only one who gets it? This was in our bulletin the week after the new section was in the handbook calling all gays and lesbians apostates and stating their children cannot be blessed or baptized. Who are the scribes and Pharisees bringing the wicked to Jesus? The woman whom Jesus forgave had sinned; according to law, the gays and lesbians have not.  What would Jesus say to us?

Deja’ Vu. As the stories unfolded during the week, I began to realize more and more the reason I related is because it’s our story too. Not the gay part but the rejection and total disregard for our feelings and autonomy. Over the past 20 years they have 1) Made decisions for us that we should make for ourselves; 2) Pushed us out; marginalized and/or ignored us. 3) Been condescending.  

  All in the guise of keeping the Church pure and following the Handbook. 

  Eddy was and is worthy to and capable of going to the Temple, cognizant of personal responsibility and accountability. In our family, Eddy is the “Rainbow Girl”, the one sneered at because he is not in white and cannot go to the temple and is needlessly barred from significant sacred family events.