I Thought I Was Teaching My Son

At the 2001 Fair & Expo at Santa Barbara, California, the following article won First Place in Creative Writing - Inspiration, and Best of Show in the Creative Writing division.

I thought I was teaching

my son about courage;

then I stood by his bedside when

they wheeled him back after innumerable

surgeries patiently and silently enduring

what he had unabashedly dreaded.

I thought I was teaching

my son about faith, then he said,

"Be a good sport, sweetheart.

Everything's going to be OK, Mom.

I promise you Brent will feel better

and go on his mission.

I love you."

I thought I was teaching

my son about love, yet he

hasn't missed a day

since he started talking,

saying, "I love you, Mom.

How about a kiss.

You love my kisses, don't you?"

Often, he also says words like,

"I sure do love Brother Wilde."

"How come Aunt Shirley's

so good to me?

I don't deserve it.

I sure do love her."

I thought I was teaching

my son about family,

then he says "I have two favorite

brothers and two favorite sisters-in-law;

two favorite nephews and one favorite niece.

And one favorite sister.

No wonder I love my family so much."

"I love it when my sister Amy comes home!"

"We talked about families in seminary.

I told Allison that I loved you guys

and her family too."

"Who's Allison?" I queried.

"The girl who sits next to me."

I thought I was teaching

my son about compassion,

then even when he sometimes says

his life is hateful,

he pats me and explains,

"But I don't blame you, Mom."

I thought I was teaching

my son about understanding when still young.

As his aunt helped our critically ill

mother sit up in bed

to eat breakfast, he

cheered her on with,

"Sit up, Grandma."

Then when she was settled,

he rewarded her with,

"Good boy, Grandma!"

I thought I was teaching

my son about gratitude,

then I heard him say,

"Thank you for the breakfast, Mom.

It sure was good."

"Thank you for picking me up.

I sure do appreciate it."

"Dad's my man.

I sure enjoyed going with him yesterday."

"It's from Aunt Verla, Mom,

the one I'm thankful for."

I thought I was teaching

my son about forgiveness,

but when his spiritual leader

was cruel and controlling,

he kept right on going to church.

I thought I was teaching

my son to sing hymns,

as we sang a few each day

for his music education;

then though I'm a non-singer,

I learned alto well enough that I dared

sometimes sing it in church.

I thought I was teaching

my son about God,

and he tells me unashamedly,

"I love Heavenly Father and Jesus.

I do, Mom."

I thought I was teaching

my son about the universe,

then he said,

"I've been around the sun 26 times.

I've enjoyed it and I want to keep doing it.

It's so fun.

Spinning is the fun part, Mom.

I feel like we're on a giant top.

I've enjoyed

these past few days

and

past few hours."

I thought I was teaching

my son about the cosmos,

and he said,

"Don't you just love this planet, Mom?

It's the only home we've got."

"Can you believe we live on

Spaceship earth, Mom,

which is a planet?

And I'm grateful for it."

I thought I was teaching

my son about the weather,

and could hardly wait to tell him

about an enchanting snowstorm

during the night,

when he came downstairs

in the darkness of the early morning,

with his snow boots on.

I thought I was teaching

my son about loyalty,

when although his

social opportunities are limited

he said that he didn't want

to go to the Best Buddies Ball

"And miss all this?"

when we were having a family dinner

after his brother's concert.

In regard to his other brother,

he said, "I would like to go to Brooke's

concert tonight, Mom.

I know he needs me there

to support him."

I thought I was giving

my son opportunities

to read

when he explained,

"I don't like to read, Mom.

It distracts my thinking processes."

I thought I was giving

my son an education,

and I learned

so many interesting things

that somehow were missed

or forgotten

in my schooling.

I thought I was teaching

my son about culture,

and my soul was enlightened

and enriched

as we went to symphonies,

plays,

operas,

art museums,

and ballets,

to give him

opportunities.

I thought I was teaching

my son about exercise,

as I took him to the gym,

where I got addicted

to aerobics,

and sold on swimming.

I thought I was teaching

my son about travel,

and I got to go

to far away places

I never in my wildest dream

thought I would see.

Life's journey

had an intriguing twist.

I thought I was showing my son the path,

and I found my own.

The Teacher

My brother, DeLoy, offers suggestions for my Blast-From-The-Past Blog, as if I’m not wordy enough already.  But I can’t resist.  Both suggestions he sent today made me cry.  I don’t know why.

He takes a ragtag

band program

of around 20 students

and develops

it

into

a remarkable

philharmonic of 175

young musicians

with

rhythm

cadence

tempo

pulse

tone

euphony

harmony

confidence

discipline

honor

distinction

After the concert,

one mother comes up

attacking him

his character

his leadership

his ability

because her son

rotates with the other percussionists

to all the instruments

including the bells.

“He has more talent than that ––

He deserves more time on the snare drum.”

“A mother steps in to protect

 and promote her child,”

she summarizes with scorn.

I didn’t know that.

I should have stepped in to

protect and promote my son,

The Teacher.

First Place Creative Writing, Prose, People, 2001 Santa Barbara Fair & Expo in California.

 

 

WHY??????? Panama Canal Part 13

 Why do Senior Citizens go on cruises

 If not to defend country, explore, research, educate, medicate?

Why?

Don’t you know?

To brag about all the other cruises they’ve been on;

Or maybe their illustrious careers

And the famous people they know personally.

Since they sit with different people at the table each day

They can repeat it 3xday for 2 weeks.

On our table for three,

We were denied that advantage.

Nevertheless, we could hear people from other tables

(well, one of us could).

Not to be outdone,

We devised our own parody:

Remember the time we cruised down the Volga River

and stayed overnight in Denver?

When we woke up the next morning there

was 3 feet of snow on the ground.

The Kangaroos didn’t know what to do,

so Ed petted them.

Excuse me for interrupting,

but we ourselves visited every temple in the South Pacific.

Isn’t that just divinely terrific?

What do you know about the Mormon Church?

Would you like to know more?

We got pretty good on that

whistle we bought in Wales

to command the sheep dogs.

Then Cai boarded the train and

we went to Sacramento and Santa Barbara.

And how about celebrating New Year’s Eve

on the French/German border

with Helmut and friends?

And the Crown Jewels at the Kremlin

and viewing Lenin’s body?

Haunting.

Oh, yes, we visited the Suez Canal years ago.

This is our squat-down jillionent cruise.

Te-he-he.

That reminds me of our trip down the Thames

while climbing the Eiffel Tower.

Remember when little Brooke surfed on Wikiki

then got left in the lurch at Grand Central Station?

Amy wasn’t even born when

when she went to Disneyland the first time;

It seemed only the next week

she celebrated her 18^th birthday at the Louvre.

Can we ever forget taking the ferry to the Statue of Liberty

after walking the Freedom Trail

when our motorhome was stolen?  Believe me.

And then the time we stayed snuggled in bed
while Ed got up at 3 AM to ride the camels

to the Top of Mt Sinai to see the sunrise.

Remember our million-dollar condo in San Diego

where the ocean lapped at our sliding doors

during our Lake Powell houseboat adventures?

At our ancestral home in Scotland,

Ed shook hands with the President of the United States.

Or was it was the Governor?

I’ve forgotten, dear.

I do remember Brent spending a semester abroad

looking for the Loch Ness Monster in Austria

and all throughout Asia and Europe.

It was the most amazing coincidence

when we all met at Wall Drug

and took pictures of us riding the Jackolope.

I’m not exaggerating.  Nope.

We didn’t know for three days

that the Great Pyramids of Egypt

were right outside our window at Bob Creek.

To top off the evening,

DeRay seriously starting bragging

about his career when he was the General at HAFB

and single-handedly designed the space shuttle,

giving birth to the Space Program,

while flying on AirForce I.

Oh, here’s the dessert.

Yummy double-chocolate pudding cake

With four scoops of vanilla ice cream.

Two servings each?

It’s been nice talking to you.

Let's keep in touch.

 SNOW??????

TWO WEEKS LATER

Home Sweet Home

ODDS AND ENDS Mostly Odd to the End

NO CELL PHONES

What is very different about a cruise ship environment?  No one is incessantly talking on a cell phone, texting, nothing.  People are talking to each other, reading, sleeping—just like the good old days.  Refreshing.

KEEPING TRACK OF TIME

You never had to be confused about the day.  They spelled it out for us on each elevator.

EXPLORE

Everyday the staff offered courses in exploring 1) Our World; 2) Food & Entertainment; 3) Technology; and 4) Well-being.  You can't do them all everyday but we did as many as we could.  We rarely missed a presentation by our travel guide Dr. Wallis Hutton, a research scientist, educator, and world traveler.  Wallis is committed to finding ways to share her love of the scientific and natural world as well as her knowledge of the history, culture, and the gastronomic delights of areas she has visited with anyone interested enough to ask.  An avid hiker and mountaineer, she enjoys climbing an active volcano on her birthday each year.  From our place in the audience, she looked to be about 17 years old, slender and dressing youngish.  She talks a mile a minute, uses color slides, and puts out information and facts faster and more interestingly than anyone I've ever heard. She gave us the history of each of the places we visited, including the Panama Canal construction, history, and future. She says her adopted country is Mexico.  She is actually on the faculty of the university there.  She's probably 40ish.  She alone was worth the price of admission.

All of the entertainment was exception.  On the bus from the airport to the cruise ship, we met one of the impressive entertainers, Chris Michaels.  He plays eight different instruments from the banjo to the turkey baster.  DeRay visited with him a lot during the course of the two weeks.  On stage he looks just like Rudy Giuliani.  "I'll bet you didn't know Rudy could play the saw," he quips.  

MOVIES

DeRay and Ed went to the movie “The Hunger Games” at 5.  Three of the movies they have featured on this ship were movies they played at Snowbird the week we were there.  “The Hunger Games,” “Salmon Fishing in Yemen” and “the Best Exotic Marigold Hotel.” 

SERVICES

 

 

E’Mam who stood at the computer in the dining room has an amazing memory.  We told him our name and room number once and never had to tell him again.  When we walked out, he call “Good bye Hug.”  He said it takes him three days to have everyone’s name and room number down but “I learned yours the first day.”  He put us together even though DeRay wasn’t even with us the first day. If we came in separately, he would show us where the others were seated in that huge dining room.

Madi, in the dining room, is breaking his contract so he has to pay his own way home.  He got married last year and has a 4-month old son he’s never seen.  Agus, our other waiter, may go home with him.  He’s only been out 9 months.  5 ½ million people on the small island they live on in Bali.  Such beautiful, gentle people.  

DeRay and Madi

 The best investment we made was buying sparkling water from Madi the first night.  All the sparkling (for DeRay and me) and still (for Eddy) water we could drink all the time we were on the ship for $10.27.  It made every meal a celebration.

We congratulated ourselves on saving so much money because we don’t drink alcoholic beverages.  Then DeRay had to ruin it all by explaining:  “We don’t drink wine, we pay tithing,” DeRay figures wine is cheaper.  “That’s how drinkers do it.  You couldn’t do both,” he extols.

Every meal I would figure out what both Eddy and I were going to order and quickly order it.  Then the waiter would go over to DeRay and he could never decide.  Madi would tap his pencil and wait and wait and finally offer suggestions and wait some more.  Just a quirk, I guess.  DeRay doesn’t seem to be able to make a decision where food is concerned.  Maybe he wanted it all. 

  I talked to Madi, our cabin steward.  He’s from Bali also – been away from home for 23 years.  He has a 20 year old, 17-year old and 7-year old.  All girls.  His wife started an icy veggie drink stand a month ago.  He hopes it works out so he doesn’t have to come back. The business is struggling and with two girls in college, he doesn’t know if they will make it.  The oldest girl is in nursing and the youngest in computers.  At least, that’s his story.  Maybe he just tells it to get extra tips.  We tipped him personally the $20 we found in the laundry room.  He flies out Friday night and will be home two days later.  He’s already packed.  I hope he can stay home with his family this time.  Inshallah.

 Both of them always greeted us and called us by name when they met us in hallway.   

Thursday October 25.  Our stewards had our suitcases out on the bed for us when they made up the room in the morning.  What could we do but fill them?

 CLEAN WINDOWS

The first day, DeRay asked the cabin stewards to clean our windows on the outside.  We could hardly see out of the window we paid extra to have.  They took him seriously and carefully explained that they don’t have permission to wash the outside but promised to keep the inside very clean.  “Sure you can,” DeRay encouraged, “I’ll get a rope and dangle you down.”  When we came back from our tour in Aruba, lo and behold the window on the outside was sparkly clean.  “It pays to complain,” DeRay muses.  He felt totally responsible.  Then we noticed they washed the windows on the outside at every port.  “Probably part of the contract,” DeRay decides.  “You can’t come into our port unless you pay us to wash your windows.”

 

  TWINS

BINGO!  I finally got a glancing shot of the twins as we were leaving the theater.  I regret not getting a photo last night on formal night.  They are probably close to 50, slender, identical hair cuts, slightly different tints.  They sat on the table next to us in the dining room every night.  Identical twins, they always wore identical clothes, exact same pattern, but different colors and fabric design; like on formal night the skirt on their dresses was 3-tier.  One was black and white alternating and the other one was black plaid, red, and white.  Jewelry same style but different colors.  Same with shoes.  DeRay said when he saw them on the deck they were dressed identically.  They had to wear designer clothes.  You don’t find them on the rack like that.  Intriguing.  The clothes they wore the night I finally focused enough to get a picture weren’t as flashy as their other clothes but you get the idea.

CREATURE OF HABIT

I find I’m quite a creature of habit.  The things I have enjoyed the most are the routine things:  Meals at the same time; book club; 

A scrumptious tea for our last meeting.

Ian, the librarian from Canada, did a great job leading the discussions for Like Water for Chocolate

 Tai Chi;

Lifestylist Jean-Marie from Spain leads our Tai Chi each evening at 5.

 Adagios.  New adventures distress me.  Silly me.  What am I missing?  Yes.  I think I want to be a dolphin in the next life.

PREPAREDNESS

Amy helped us get organized for this trip and it’s the first time we haven’t forgotten anything.  She knew what we could take on the airplane (oops she forgot to check my driver's license) and advised us on necessities and things we would need in extenuating circumstances, like medications.  I got a Staph infection on my shin that could have become a real problem if we hadn't brought the salve. One year Ed had an allergic reaction to the antibiotics he was on.  After-hours office visit was $35, which the nurse waived because she was nice. (The doctor only works two hours a day so almost everything is after hours.)  It cost us like $15 for six Benadryl.  We took Benadryl this time to be sure but I wouldn’t have remember it if Amy hadn’t mentioned it.   “One sweater, one long-sleeved shirt,” she said, and it all worked out and fit into one carry-on suitcase.

THANK YOU TO CLARE AND GARY

. . . for your wonderful transporting services.  Gary packed from our car to their van on our way to the airport; and back again when we returned.  Clare drove us to the airport, even though they were leaving the next day to go to Phoenix for a surprise birthday party for Erik.  On return, she picked us up at the car rental service.  She even had the car washed and shiny for us, besides storing it for two weeks under lock and key. Anywhere else would have charged $10/day minimum, that’s $140.  We express our gratitude.