SELF-DISCOVERY

Ed & I were playing Pictionary.

My words were “Color Blind.”

First I drew a guy with his eyes closed,

Thinking he might get "blind" from that.

No.

Then I drew glasses and penciled them in,

adding a (white) cane.

“Me?” Ed guessed.

I was taken aback.
I didn't know I could draw that good.

When I pointed to the cane,

He finally said “blind”.

A black and white color wheel got “color”
and the puzzle was solved!

RECOMPENSE

Early this morning

I thought I was awake,

But I must have been asleep

For I woke up in heaven.

When I opened my eyes.

Both Mama and Daddy were

Hovering over me.

“I’m an only child!”

I realized.

Reward for dying first.

(Middle-Child Syndrome)

Jeanette & Seven Siblings below

Lucy, DeLoy, Lynn James, Shirley; F: Jeanette holding Carol Lee, Jerry.

  Orderville 1942

Lynn, Jeanette, Mama, Shirley, Lucy, Jerry.  F: Verla, DeLoy, Carol Lee 1956

By age: Mama, Shirley, Lucy, Lynn, DeLoy, Jeanette, Jerry, Carol Lee, Verla 1956

DeLoy, Jeanette, Jerry, Lucy, Lynn; F: Shirley, Verla, Mama, Carol Lee 1960

Lucy, Shirley, Jerry, Carol, Jeanette. F: DeLoy, Mama, Verla, Lynn 1969

Shirley, Jeanette.  F: Verla, DeLoy, Jerry, Lynn, Carol 2005 Nephi

THE MOVE

Amy moved.

After a year,

Her dad hooked up cable

To the television

In the basement.

Following a quick bite to eat,

She disappears now

Trailed closely by two cats . . .

To exercise, stretch,

Facebook, blog, watch TV
by the warm glowing fireplace.

I already miss her.

GOLDILOCKS

I feel like Goldilocks.

The first time I made granola,

  It was too rich.

The next time I made it,

  It was too hard.

(I didn’t read the recipe carefully

and put the fruit in before I put it in the oven.

Then I turned the oven off when it was done

but didn’t take it out right away.)

But the third time,

I made granola,

adding more oats and cinnamon,

  It was just right!

And we gobbled it up.

SNOWBIRD 3

TRADITION
or
The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

September 25, 2010

The house,

when we returned

after being at Snowbird for a week,

looked very much like

I remember DeRay’s mother’s house.

Crud around the faucet and behind the sink;

Cluttered and sticky counters,

floor, table;

dirty chrome,

things out of place.

When Amy and I got home around 5,

he was bottling and freezing peaches,

which is commendable;

but guess who cleaned up the mess,

put the peaches in the freezer,

took the bottles off the stove,

labeled and stored them?

Guess who unpacked the ice chest,

boxes and suitcases from yesterday,

including Ed’s toothbrush?

Guess who took the trash out,

picked up,

cleaned off the counters and table,

wiped up the crumbs.

put things back in place,

wiped up the floor,

shook the rugs?

And when finished,

behold,

it looked more like my mother’s house.

PS:  I love him dearly.

And he has a secret job

And pays all the bills

And does all the grocery and

Internet shopping

And fixes everything

And handles and generally solves

all our problems;

Researches.

Has brilliant ideas.

And does all the taxes

Insurance

Estate Planning

Vacations

Trips

Helps with all the canning

And freezing;

Makes all the bread.

Plans, plants, maintains garden.

Harvests and rototills.

Makes kefir.

and other things and attributes too numerous to mention.

CONJECTURE

Maybe I’m just suspicious

But what would you think?

Our Relief Society is way too organized

And way too perfectionistic

To call someone just two weeks before

The Christmas social to ask them

To participate.

My goodness, when they asked me

To demonstrate something from the garden

On “Bon Appetit” night

They asked me three months ahead

Checking with me regularly to make sure

I’m meeting their expectations.

The Christmas Social is the highlight of the year.

Just this morning, Kathi called to ask

If I would do my “little thing”,

“I like to call it a Christmas card,”

she chuckled.

It started out years ago as my annual

Despised Christmas letter.

It has evolved until last year,

I entitled it a sermon.

Perhaps they didn’t like it,

Down-sizing it to my “little thing.”

“Shanel (our neighbor on the committee)

 said you might not be here,”

Kathi continued.

Ed had told her

That we are going on a cruise.

“When is the social?”

“December 8^th.”

“We’ll be gone.”

I wonder if when they ascertained

That we definitely would

 be gone,

They concluded

“What will it cost to ask her

Since she won’t be here?”

What would you think?

 Smart

On their part.

It worked.

SNOWBIRD 2

THE WORRIER

September 25, 2010

 It took me clear

until Thursday to calm down,

to rejuvenate, to rejoice.

I’m still a bit up in the air

but I feel a change coming over me.

I can’t seem to put in sequence

the slightest responsibilities

and deal with them one at a time.

I’m afraid

·   I won’t make it (to some scheduled event);

·   I’ll be late.

·   we won’t have enough food;

·   we’ll have too much food.

·   we will run out of clean clothes;

·   we brought too many clothes.

·   I’ll finish my book and won’t have anything to read.

·   I’ll never finish it.

I

·   Can’t wait to get home;

·   Dread getting home and back to routine

This worrying illness is

Debilitating.

RIDDLE

The week we were in sunny St. George

I got no tan at all.

The week we were at Snowbird 9000 feet;

I got a beautiful tan.

Why?

Give up?

In St. George, I went swimming at 7 AM

Before the sun came up;

At Snowbird I went swimming at 9 AM

in full sun.

SMALL MIRACLES

 Today at the Olympic-size pool

We had a near catastrophe

When Ed took off his goggles

His artificial eye was missing.

This is the first day in a whole year

That we were the only ones in the pool

The water was calm; visibility excellent.

Still I panicked.

I didn’t see how we could find it

Before it was sucked up in the filtration system.

I looked for a minute.

I thought I saw it.

I dove.

Nothing.

Should I get the two swimmers

Who were stretching out on the edge of the pool

to help me look;

First I’ll ask the life guard.

He found it in a few minutes;

But I still had to get it off the bottom

Before it moved.

I picked it up with my toes

And in a rare act of flexibility

Was able to grab it with my hand before it dropped.

The last time Ed lost his artificial eye

He was in elementary school.

It was the day of the failed

Iran hostage rescue attempt.

“You think you’ve got problems,”

the principal joked,

“What about President Carter?”

It did put things in perspective.

The whole school searched;

One of the students found it;

Believe it or not.

Another time, it came out by our pool

After dark.

Everyone looked and one of the boys

Found it on the deck close to the pool;

Or was it Amy?

How many painful expensive surgeries

has he had to build the eye socket:

With nothing in, it quickly shrinks.

Small miracles.

Eventually the hostages were set free

But Carter didn’t get re-elected.

The Iran hostage crisis was a diplomatic crisis between Iran and the United States. 52 US citizens were held hostage for 444 days from November 4, 1979 to January 20, 1981, after a group of Islamist students and militants took over the Embassy of the United States in support of the Iranian Revolution.

Sixty-six Americans were taken captive when Iranian militants seized the U.S. Embassy in Tehran on Nov. 4, 1979, including three who were at the Iranian Foreign Ministry. Six more Americans escaped and of the 66 who were taken hostage, 13 were released on Nov. 19 and 20, 1979; one was released on July 11, 1980, and the remaining 52 were released on Jan. 20, 1981.

The episode reached a climax when, after failed attempts to negotiate a release, the United States military attempted a rescue operation, Operation Eagle Claw , on April 24, 1980, which resulted in a failed mission, the destruction of two aircraft and the deaths of eight American servicemen and one Iranian civilian. It ended with the signing of the Algiers Accords in Algeria on January 19, 1981. The hostages were formally released into United States custody the following day, just minutes after the new American president Ronald Reagan was sworn in.

  When Ed was small looking at his baby book,

He exclaimed:

“There’s good looking ole Eddy.”

Now he’s acculturated,

He doesn’t say that anymore.

He says,

“Gosh, I’m ugly.”

 

 

An Apology

I could tell Pancake, the cat,
had her feelings hurt.
She scampered around like a fugitive.
Amy is out of town;
no one had played with her.
I didn’t like her climbing on my keyboard
or on the counters.

“I’m sorry Pancake;
I don’t mean to be mean.
I’m not mad at you.
Please don't flatter yourself.
No need to feel special. 
I’m grouchy with everyone;
cantankerous for no good reason.”

Mama's Checkbook

Checkbooks tell a story.

In Mama’s handwriting:

Check #129

Dated December 5, 1930

To Dr. Norris

$40.00

assumably for the birth of my sister, Lucy.

Mama wrote:

“Dr. Norris really got worried

and figured if he saved the mother

he’d be doing good.

So we were very thankful

when the mother and baby

both got along all right.”

No hospital.

She was born in the Adams home in Kanab.

This year on November 16

she turns 80 years old.

Lucy, Shirley, and maybe Lynn James

Lucy

Lucy, turning 80 this year.

What does it cost to have a baby today?

Tell me.

IT'S A SMALL, SMALL WORLD

In 1966

We moved in next door to the Reeder Family.

Even though we only lived in Bountiful a few years

We have kept in touch with these good neighbors.

We had been friends for 35 years before

We discovered our great grandpas

Came from the same remote obscure area

Near the east coast of northern Scotland.

We both have ancestors who married Olgivys,

The ruling clan, so who knows,

We may be joint owners of

The three remaining castles.

What are the chances?

Alison was born in Australia;

Her grandmother and baby sister are buried in India,

Where her mother was reared.

Her father being British.

Me, my parents, grandparents were all born

In Utah or Arizona.

Great Grandpa John emigrated from the Highlands

When he was 19 years old.

Alison and I have both visited Kirriemuir,

the Scottish town where our

great grandfathers may have known each other.

Only 5, 677 people live there today.

Kindred spirits.

HEROES

On heroes, my granddaughter posted:

Heroes

Heroes is a topic I have been stewing about for some time. we had a discussion post about it, we had a writing journal about it. so here's the question: What is a Hero?

To me a hero is someone who helps out mankind. who has a belief or a standard and sticks to it no matter what. A hero to me is someone who goes to extra mile and does the extra stuff. Someone who suffers through hard times and comes out, not worse but better for it, someone who comes out with a smile on their face. Someone who cares about others but isn't so caught up in it that they can't look after their own selves.

When I was younger many people thought of actors and athletes as their Heroes but in the world today how many people really have real to life heroes? I think that a hero doesn't have to be a bigger than life character it can be a teacher, a parent, a relative, an acquaintance, or even a friend.

I know I have many heroes. Let me share a few with you.

Mom- she's always there for me and always taking a part in my life. She's the Relief Society President in our ward and she puts "relief" back into it. She's always thinking about someone else. On each of the sister's birthdays she makes a little card and goes and visits them. She also hardly ever "takes a day off" Last Spring my mom went to Women’s Conference at BYU she was gone for 3 school days. I had to take care of my entire family. It was during school and so I had to make sure they had lunches, breakfast, and dinner. That they had there homework done etc. of course dad was home, but I was essentially the mom of the house. It was so hard, I remember thinking one of the nights that there was no way I'd have any time to make dinner the next day so I had to make it the night before, and boy was that French Onion Soup good. but back to the point. Without mom we'd be lost. just this last Wednesday mom wasn't feeling very good, dad told her to take the day off, so she did. When Isaak and I got home and couldn't get a hold of her we were kind of lost. That is Until Isaak thought to call dad. We normally turn to mom, not dad, for household things. My mom is the greatest. she is always there. I hope that someday when I have my own children, that I will be even half the mom to my kids that she has been to me.

Anne- When her brother passed away last year I watched her. Yes she was upset, but she moved on. Did she forget him? NO! she just held her head up high and moved on. she is so strong. I love her and how she moves on, how she doesn't care what people have to say about her, she is her own individual, and proud of it!!!

Grandma- I've already written a whole post about her, but then again, she's one of my heroes.

Oma- born in Austria in the middle of World War 2, Oma didn't come to the U.S until she was 19. Then she worked all day to support her mother and little sister, she went to nursing school at night to become a nurse. What an example to me. Oh, and raising 6 kids, did I mention that part?

Now on a more worldly note,

Yo Yo Ma- have you ever heard him play? If you haven't heard of him . . . I Welcome You to the World of Classical Music!!!! he is an amazing Cellist. It is so cool to listen to him play, though I've only ever heard CDs and recordings. It challenges me to be a little better, practice a little more.

Enough of heroes . . . for now!  Posted by Mystique

It reminded me of something I wrote on heroes.  I thought it was this past year, but it was actually in 2006.

My Heroes

April 7, 2006

My heroes are the ones who do not fit into the mold.

It’s comparatively easy to follow
the prescribed pattern for living:

The norm; the acceptable; the expected.

What takes great honor and courage is living

In a body that feels strange and wrong;

In a deformed or injured or diseased body or mind;

With trauma, brain damage, illness;

In a home where you don’t feel connected.

Or for any reason never marrying or having children.

Sure, there are trials when you follow

the prescribed pattern for living;

But you are socially and culturally accepted

and that makes all the difference.

Esteem, honor, admiration, respect are yours.

Those who are thrown off the beaten path

Or were never on it;

Are my heroes.

Their challenges are astronomical.

Most are silent; quietly living day-by-day;

ostracized, marginalized, forsaken, rejected,

ignored, neglected, and even shunned.

I see courage in their eyes;

I feel strength in their presence.

They are the great individuals in our midst.

and hardy anyone knows it.

I deem God does.

MY HEROES.

Nevertheless, my mother is one of my heroes also!

DÉJÀ VU

 

Sometimes I am totally irrational;

A traumatic childhood experience

Still vivid in my conscious memory

Probably tucked deep in my psyche

To torment me 64 years later.

Mama, Daddy, two of my brothers and one little sister

Out to the herd to tend the sheep;

Lambing season you know.

Daddy was not one to shirk responsibility

Even through he had been weak and sick;

Possibly pneumonia; maybe allergic to the sulfa

Doctor Fen had prescribed.

Ten years old, I though I was getting grown up.

I even practiced the pose I would strike

So Daddy would notice when he came home.

He never came home.

My 14-year old brother drove the pickup in

On that Sunday afternoon to get help

When Daddy didn’t come back to camp

After his morning shepherding.

My uncle and cousin went out.

Hundreds of neighbors and friends

Searched for him

Before he was found dead on Tuesday

At the bottom of a cliff where he had slipped.

Mama’s big extended family rallied around her.

She had eight children

Ranging in age from barely 1 to barely 18.

My husband was late returning home

From a business trip last night.

Only one-half hour.

My irrational fears besieged me.

I trembled.

DÉJÀ VU

I knew he wouldn’t come.

He did.

Why can’t I get over it?

3:49 AM