Amy Day

Her grandmother had died in May and in December, 1977,

I’m talking to Amy Lyn about being named after

both her Grandma and Grandpa Esplin.

Amy Heaton and John Lynn.

She is nearly three years old.

“I’m not Grandpa,” she says softly.

“Where is Grandma?” I asked her.

“She’s just at her house.”

“No. Grandma’s in heaven and her name was Amy too.”

“No, she’s not Amy,” insisted Amy Lyn, “she’s Grandma.

She’s just Grandma.  I’m Amy.”

Amy Heaton Esplin 70th birthday

When we named her Amy Lyn,

we knew there was another Amy in the family: Amy Jayne Hart.

Grandmother Amy Heaton Esplin, cousin Amy Jayne Hart holding Amy Lyn Hugh
(Holding hands. I love it.)

What we didn’t know was that she was born

on the exact same day as two other Amys in the extended family:

Amy Esplin Levanger and Amy Carroll Stark.

All three Amys born on December 30.

Amy Esplin Levanger, born December 30, 1922, is my double-first cousin—

our fathers are brothers and our mothers are sisters.

Amy Carroll Stark, born December 30, 1882, is my great aunt,

my Grandmother Heaton’s sister.

This is a shower Mama gave for me before DeRay and I were married.  She said the young folks have all the fun; she invited all the old folks to a shower.  "Just bring your favorite recipe and a bit of advice to help my daughter successfully through her married life." Aunt Esther Johnson, Emily Adair, Mame Chamberlain, Aunt Zidie Crook, Aunt Amy Stark, Aunt Ella Palmer, Aunt Vine Heaton, Aunt Lillie Carroll, Sarah Cox, Wilma Adair, Hester Heaton. Aunt Nell Hoyt, Aunt Minn Cook, Eliza Cox, Aunt Minn Sorensen, Aunt Lucy Esplin, Martha Porter. Sept. 1956

This was Aunt Amy's advice to me:
Don’t think your world or marriage has come to an end with your first dispute.

Differences of opinion mean progress.

Discuss them without argument to broaden your viewpoint.  Aunt Amy

(Interesting advice, considering I never met her husband. From the Carroll Heritage book, for the first time I learn that Aunt Amy divorced her husband in 1922. Born and reared in England, he left landlocked Long Valley for California to find work in the shipyards and the sea he knew and loved in 1920 when his second child was only one year old. He served in the English Royal Navy from 1890 to 1902; joining the Church in 1910. Maybe infidelity was their problem, not disputes. Mama never told me.)

*

Brent was born on friend Dick Swapp’s birthday;

Jeanne was born on cousin Effie Sorensen’s birthday;

Brooke was born on friend ReNee Palmer’s birthday;

Not to be outdone, Eddy was born on his Grandpa Pugh’s birthday!

We were rather hoping Amy would be born

on Aunt Juanita’s birthday, December 29.

But someone who knows more than we know

Planned for her to be born on December 30 – AMY DAY.

Amy - day before birthday - 2014

Christmas Day 2014

DeRay came down bragging this morning, that he is twice as old as Amy. He finally figured it out.

Your Worst Nightmare

Every other year we have Erika and Conley Bailey for dinner sometime during the holidays.  Every other year we go to their house.  It doesn’t seem possible, but we’ve known them for 50 years now.  We were Farmington neighbors in 1964-65.  We’ve kept in touch ever since. 

Last night as we were chatting while I was dishing up, I asked Conley if he still raised a garden.  He’s probably 83 or more.  “Sure,” he said.  “DeRay raised 85 butternut squash this year,” I brag.  “We don’t raise winter squash,” Conley reveals. “They didn’t have squash in Germany when Erika was growing up so she doesn’t like them,” Conley explained.  “You don’t like squash either,” Erika shoots back.  Oh, no, I shuttered silently.  Baked squash was our main course, along with smoked turkey/rice casserole and a frozen salad.  Oh, yes, and DeRay’s fresh black German bread. We’re in big trouble.  What are we to do?  We go ahead and serve it, cutting the pieces even smaller.  They each asked for seconds and Conley says he’s going to raise squash next year.

After dinner when we couldn’t get the German Christmas Pyramid (Weihnachtspyramide – that Brooke sent home with us from Germany when he was on his mission) with candles to twirl, Erika again told us the story of her escape from East Germany in 1953-4-5.  In order to work or go to school, you had to join the Communist Party.  The Church advised its members not to join the Communist Party.  On this particular day, a woman at her work put pressure on her to join and told her that she must join tomorrow or she would lose her job.  That night, her mother took her to the train station and sent her to Berlin.  She only had the double set of clothes on her back and a small bag or purse. When she gets to the East/West Berlin border, the train stops and the announcement comes over the loud speaker that everyone must get off.  She just sits there. “Were there other members of your branch with you?  How did you know not to get off?”

“I was alone but I had been told to stay on the train when it went into West Berlin.”
They talked about a train that made a loop around Berlin, which at that time was divided by the Four Powers.  The conductor would slow down at a spot in West Berlin and the passengers could jump off.

Erika went to a refugee camp with her papers and they arranged for her fly out of Berlin to Frankfurt and onto a French Refugee camp.  They helped her find work eventually and then she was able to move into an apartment.  She ended up in Karlsruhe (where Brooke served part of his mission).  It took her two years to earn enough money and get a Visa to travel to America.  She had a great aunt in Salt Lake who was her sponsor.  Her mother's family actually joined the Church in the early 1920's.  
While in Karlsruhe, with other members of the Branch, she traveled by bus to the dedication of the Swiss temple.  One of the missionaries from Vienna volunteering was her future husband, Conley.  Of course, they didn’t know it then but they would have been in the same room during the dedication.  DeRay, who was stationed in Germany in the Service at that same time, also tried to go to the Swiss temple but he ended up in the wrong town and never made it. 

Erika’s folks tried to get permission to travel to West Germany to see her, their only child, before she left for America but their request was denied.  Later, after she got to America, they again requested permission to travel to West Germany.  This time they said they were celebrating their Silver Wedding Anniversary and wanted to go visit her father’s sister in northern Germany.  With no luggage, only the clothes on their backs, they left their homeland forever.  It took them a year to get a Visa and earn enough money to travel to America and be reunited with their daughter. 

When Erika first arrived she lived with her great aunt along with another relative of her aunt’s husband.  “I guess she got tired of us because we moved to an apartment across the street.”  This girl was very bossy and wouldn’t let Erika go in the living room or the kitchen without permission, even though they were paying equal rent.  Her room was up the back stairs and the other girl had the main bedroom.  They worked at a garment factory, earning $1/hour.  When her parents came, they shared an apartment.  Her dad worked as a janitor for Auerbach's until he was able to get a job welding and doing iron work.  Her parents always attended a German Branch and really never learned English. I remember them.  She met Conley at a church dance.  He had been home from his mission three years and was just looking for her, so they say.  They have four kids; nine or so grandkids.

   Several years ago, Erika and Conley went back to Germany to her class reunion. Even though they all went to the same school, the boys and girls held separate reunions. They first toured the school (still standing?  Both my elementary and high school have been torn down for years.  How wasteful Americans are.) and then went to a hotel for dinner.  Conley said he felt a bit out of place.  "Were you the only guy there?"  "There may have been one other."  "We left early because I couldn't take the cigarette smoke in the room any longer."  They planned a few more reunions but Erika and Conley never went back. Then no more.  Erika figures they all died from lung cancer.  She said she thinks the women smoked because they held men's jobs and were out in the work force just like men. They were mechanics, construction workers, and did everything the men did.  "How did these women look who stayed in East Germany all these years?  Were they happy?"  "They were well dressed, clean, and looked good. They seemed fine." 
   What interesting friends we have who now like squash – or at least pretend!   

Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa

Grandma and Grandpa Pugh with Brooke at blessing in Orderville February 1972.

Jeanne, Brooke, Brent Christmas 1972

Amy's First Christmas 1975

Tamber, Melissa, Brent, Devin, Brooke, Jeanne, Travis on Santa's lap, Bryan, Robert. Christmas 1973  at Murphys

"That Santa was Grandpa inside," Amy Lyn said as we drove home. "How did you know that?" "I could tell by his hands. Grandpa's all hair on his hands. Do you know that?"
DeRay, Jeanne, Brent, Jeanette, Amy, Eddy & Brooke on Grandpa Santa's lap.

Brent, Grandpa, Amy Lyn, Grandma, Jeanne, Eddy, Brooke 1980

Grandma, Grandpa Pugh, Grandma Esplin, DeRay; Brent, Jeanne, Brooke, Travis, Jeanette 1973

For the first few Christmases after my mother died, DeRay’s parents spent Christmas with us.  It eased the loneliness for me and brought untold treasured memories for the children.  It’s been fun to look back and cherish the time with them when our kids were growing up.

Christmas with Grandma and Grandpa

  We always had a Christmas Eve program, as we had in our home in Orderville growing up.  First we went to the Primary Program each Christmas Eve in the church with Santa Claus coming outside afterwards and passing out candy.  We usually invited everyone who wanted to come to the program in our home. I remember sitting in our frontroom with extra chairs to hold everyone who enjoyed Christmas Eve with us.

1977

Amy Lyn was Mary with her baby as the baby Jesus, Eddy was Joseph; Jeanne, the shepherds; and Brent, the Wisemen.  Brooke wouldn’t even don a robe but he held the lights for the movie camera so we decided he was the star that shone over the place where the dear baby lay. Grandpa Pugh read the Christmas story from the Bible.  Grandma and I were honored guests. Brent played “Oh Holy Night”; Jeanne played her Christmas Medley on the piano. Brooke learned some darling Christmas songs in kindergarten but he wouldn’t sing any for us. Eddy and Amy Lyn sang “Rudolph”, “Santa Clause is Coming to Town”, “The ABC’s” “The Lord is Good to Me” (from Johnny Appleseed) and said the Pledge of Allegiance.  The kids and Grandma and Grandpa each opened one gift and that made them happy as little larks.  At 10, everyone was ready for bed in hopes that Ol’ St. Nick would visit that night.  The rain had washed away all the snow but Brooke had no doubt the reindeer would bring Santa Claus right to our house on Christmas Eve. Grandpa slept in Brent’s room and Grandma in Jeanne’s so all the children decided to sleep in the front room.  The three boys slept in the conversation pit, which is the most coveted spot, even though it is too short for the big ones and cold with the fireplace drafts. Jeanne and Amy Lyn slept by the couch.

After finishing the stockings and other gifts, DeRay and I relaxed and enjoyed the fire and the peace and quiet and magic of Christmas until about 3 AM.

The children officially woke up around 7.  We had to awaken Amy Lyn and Grandma but soon we were all ready to march in—youngest by youngest, as we had done in our home when I was a child. Of course, these kids don’t have garter belts—you know the kind that went up over your shoulders--to contend with like we did. Those things used to get twisted and turned in every direction, especially on Christmas morning, even though we had laid them out very straight the night before.  Ole Santa did come and the children were delighted as children have been for decades past.  We had a nice ham dinner about 3, then all went to Sacrament Meeting. Brooke sang three songs with his Sunday School class. Brent played a piano solo, “The Holy City”.

1979

Grandma Pugh went upstairs to bed Wednesday and didn’t come back downstairs until Saturday night for a special dinner we had in the dining room.  She sewed doll clothes every waking moment; we carried her meals up to her.  Her dolls and the clothes are absolutely exquisite.  Beautiful works of art.  Grandpa read to the kids and petted them. They ate it up. I think Amy Lyn memorized about five books sitting on his knee. He’d supply a word here and there and off she’d go reciting the story.

Eddy sat on Grandpa’s lap in church that Sunday before Christmas (Christmas Eve morn).  The next Sunday when Craig Fisher talked in church, he talked about how Eddy sat so close on his Grandpa Pugh’s lap.  From the stand he noted the love between them and at one time a tear in Grandpa’s eyes after Eddy said something to him.  “Everyone needs a Grandpa Pugh,” Craig ended.

1980

Christmas Eve: Early on Christmas Eve morning, Eddy scolded Brent: “Wake up, Brent. It’s a beautiful day outside. Why  don’t you wake up and enjoy it? Dang Brent Splent.” 

Grandpa and Grandma and eight Ogdens came out about 4.  We had delicious ham and turkey dinner – hot rolls and salads, then we went upstairs for a program.  It was special.

Christmas Day 1980

We had to wake the kids up at 7 again – except Eddy woke up at 4:20 AM – I put him in bed with us until 7.    At 7, I tell DeRay we better get up.  Eddy pops: “Oh! Let’s have Christmas! DeRay! DeRay! Let’s hurry and have dang old Christmas that I hate.” “I don’t think Santa will come,” DeRay teases. “He will,” Eddy insists, “if he tries and tries.” Brooke and Amy Lyn are still soundly sleeping with their alarm ringing at 7 AM. We awaken Brent and Jeanne from the frontroom where they are snuggled all safely in their sleeping bags.

“My drums! My drums! I must have been a good boy. Santa brought me drums!” “Two Schwin Pixies!” (Not really. Eddy had seen too many advertisements on TV. One was a $200 Rampar, for Brooke; and the other $125 Rampar, for Amy.  We’ve never paid more than $60 for a bike before.) 

“Oh, my gosh, a parakeet!” Mama had embroidered a cover for our birdcage nearly 25 years ago.  It didn’t fit our cage so we never used it. It fit Jeanne’s cage perfectly. I told Jeanne maybe Grandma made it for her.

Brent helped us play Santa Claus this year. Grandpa stayed up too. We had bought a stereo, planning to give it to Jeanne but when it came right down to it, we decided it was too big for her room and too much gift for one child; especially since we had clothes for her, a ski outfit, a watch, curling iron, parakeet, and on and on. We used the stereo as a family gift and gave Brent and Jeanne each a tape recorder.  They could record and play the music in their rooms. We also bought a set of earphones they have enjoyed. Brent got a nice set of tools and a tool box, a quad, some pants plus ski pants, a velour I made,  and a promise for a cover for his Bug. I had earlier bought Bible and Church History tapes and a Bamix.

“There’s three things I notice about Christmas now,” Amy Lyn observed. (Earlier she had noticed two things about Christmas people don’t like.” “It’s a fattening time of year and you get sick.” “Who told you that?” I query. “I just know.” – at five years old?  The three new things she came up with: "1. It’s fattening; 2. It’s fun. 3. It’s messy.”

1:30 pm Grandma and Grandpa are sitting in the kitchen waiting for DeRay to slice up the fresh fruit.  (I’m in the bedroom sneaking See’s candy!)  Amy Lyn is whining in the green chair: “What can I do?” She needs a little girl to play dolls with. “Mama, when will the Easter bunny come?” Amy Lyn whimpers. Brooke is over to Jason’s with his new bike.   Eddy is out riding his Super-cycle. Brent is playing Eddy’s drums and Jeanne is talking on the phone. It’s a fun Christmas.

6:12 PM Brent is taking his morning shower. Jeanne is watching her bird; Grandma and DeRay are putting a difficult jigsaw puzzle together; Amy Lyn is doing designs; Brooke is playing the drums; Grandpa is sleeping; Eddy is sitting on the potty. I just woke up from a nap. Brooke asked me to play UNO with him ; I fell asleep reading the instructions.

 7 pm Christmas Day – The bird on the counter, Jeanne and Amy Lyn are making cookies in Amy’s (old) Holly Hobbie Oven. “All the women of the house downstairs,” Jeanne dramatizes, “slaving over a hot oven.” Eddy and Brent are playing Space Invaders.  Brooke is pounding on the drum set. Grandma and Dad are still working on the puzzle; Grandpa is keeping an eye on everything. He grabs Eddy and hugs him, “You know Grandpa loves you, my Little Drummer Boy!” “Santa Claus brought me my drum set from the Drum Set Store,” Eddy says.

8:30 PM Amy Lyn is playing the drums. Brent is fiddling with the stereo; DeRay stands up from the jigsaw puzzle. Grandma is eating vegetables and dip; Grandpa is watching the story of Christmas on TV; Jeanne and her bird are watching the same thing in our bedroom.  Eddy has fallen asleep.  DeRay is playing the drums, Amy Lyn is cuddled on Grandpa’s lap.

Goodnight everyone.  MERRY CHRISTMAS  1980.

Christmas 2014

Klarissa decorated our tree and house this year.

Amy added the beads.

      In bygone years, we may not have been so enchanted by waking up on Christmas morn to see stunning snow softly falling.  This unusual year, we've had warm weather and no appreciable moisture since the rains of August.  Just yesterday, walking through the hollow, Amy and I encountered two kids building a hut with sticks wearing short-sleeved T-shirts.  Riding our trikes on December 8, Ed and I passed a girl walking barefoot down the street in shorts.  
     To wake up, right on Christmas to our first snow was thrilling.  Entrancing.  Achingly beautiful and magical. Snow fell gently pretty much all Christmas day.