All God’s Critters Got a Place in the Choir

Gays.
Gun Control.

Global Warming.

Did you know forest fires emit more pollution than all the cars on earth?

And volcanos?  There are always at least five erupting at any given time emitting fumes.

The weather fluctuates.  Always has.  Always will. 

A professor (by name) I know at Utah State who invented the heat shield for the space rockets submitted a report on global warming word for word like the scientists at some prestigious institution back east but on the front one said “evidence against global warming” and the other said “for global warming” and the one for global warming got the so many million dollar grant.  It’s all political.
Know-it-all.

Muslims.

Did you know the Koran is evil?  Evil.  Evil. Evil.

He has read it, have you?

Did you know Mohammad had a 14-year-old wife and an 11-year-old wife?

Well,

who are we to talk?
Am I wrong in assuming that all religions
are based on the divine fundamental core 
of the Golden Rule?

Women’s rights.

Priesthood.

Women can’t hold the priesthood because then what would the men do?

Obama.

Constitution.

The only books you ever need to read are the Bible and the Book of Mormon.  I read them cover to cover, front to back.

One hour and 20 minutes of lambasting some of the views I cherish and hold most dear as if we think like he thinks.

I’m friends with Mitt Romney.

I’m friends with Orrin Hatch.

I’m friends with the Governor.

I know many people in high places.

Does he think we are stupid?

Egocentric.
Homogenous.

Prejudice.

Arrogant.

Narrow minded.

Conceited.

Vain.

Insensitive

Self-absorbed.

Self-obsessed.

Careless.

Amy finally came in and said dinner is ready.  She’d heard enough.  “Do you want to eat with us?”  “No, we’ll have a prayer, then leave.”

A prayer?  After the way you’ve castigated all of God’s children who do not believe exactly as you do?

“I’ll say it,” he boasts, like we don't know how.

Amy has four little Muslim students in her class.

“Did you tell him our two cats are Muslim?”

“And one is a black Muslim.”  Oooooooooh.
"Too bad they are opposite sex
or they could be gay too."

I seethe.

It’s about more than I can bear each month.

Next morning

the Visiting Teachers came.

They retold the story President Monson

told in General Conference about the little boy

who was bleeding so they had to make an emergency landing

causing other passengers to miss connecting flights

but not one person grumbled or complained.

“And I’ll bet some of them weren’t even Mormon,”

her partner concluded.

Are we the only nice people in the world?

Are you discriminating against the elderly?

For 10 years we’ve been going to the Clearfield pool.

For 10 years we fit in as best we can.

The swimmers swim and the players play,

mindful of each other’s space.

Today, two people were in the first swim lane;

and one in the narrower second;

So Eddy and I went to the next lane.

More than half of the pool was empty.

Four little kids were on the steps in a swimming lesson.

A life guard came up to me and said,

“You can’t swim here.”

“Where do you want us to swim?”

“You’ll have to wait.”

“Wait?  When half the pool is empty?”

“Yes.”

A guy in the first lane heard us and said,

“I’m getting out.  You can swim here.”

So I put Eddy in his lane.

Soon the girl in the second lane got out

and the fellow swimming with Eddy

offered to move over and let me swim there.

Soon another guy came in and got in the lane where

Eddy and I tried to swim.

No one said a word to him.

Soon others came and there were three or four swimming

there like we’ve done for ten years now.

I couldn’t let it go.

When we got out,

I went over to this life-guard and asked

if he were discriminating against the elderly.

He said he wasn’t,

What would you think?

It’s a great big wide wonderful world.