Senior Sluff

Even though I rescheduled my whole week and especially my day, I still was not sorry to miss DUP today. Ed and I went swimming yesterday because I thought I would be gone today. It was very crowded and irksome. We hurried and went on our trike ride before we went swimming so we wouldn’t be so late because I had Fine Arts Club in the evening. Basically, the whole day was screwed up but it set me free for Wednesday. This morning I got up early and did my Yoga stretches, then hurried and showered before breakfast so I could spend the morning with Eddy before DUP at noon. Billie didn’t ever call me so around 10:30 I called her home and got her son-in-law, Bob. “Billie’s not here. In fact, she’s out of town for two weeks basking on the beach at Carlsbad.”  Right then and there, I decided not to go to DUP even though I had turned my days upside down to make it. But what if Gayle, her daughter, stops by for me?  I didn’t want to call her for fear she would think I expected her to pick me up. For peace of mind, I decided to clear the air so I called her. She hadn’t given me a thought. She wasn’t planning on going either. So it all worked out and I felt as relieved as a kid sluffing school.

I celebrated by eating the last of Ed’s birthday cake then going on a trike ride in the warmness of the day, feeling like I had a gift of two extra hours and wouldn’t be bored out of my gourd. On my trike ride, Don and Peggy Butcher stopped to visit as they drove from where they are building a new house on the property they sold to developers in 2013. They bulldozed their house down but they had an option to buy three lots back, which they did. They are living on the 7^th floor of an apartment in Layton while their house is being built. They said Trent, who was Brooke’s friend in high school, had adopted a Korean boy. They have 17 grandchildren. They look younger than they did 25 years ago when they were divided from us.

Talking to them made me out and about the neighborhood just as women were leaving for DUP. Barbara Hunsaker stops. “Are you going to DUP?”  “Nope. Give them my excuse. I forgot to call.” And I again mused how much I hate clubs.

I did think of one redeeming virtue. It is hearing the stories I would never have heard if I hadn’t joined. These women are all older, living long abundant lives.

Like last night, Kay Twogood was talking about Becky Lockhart.  She was at the next table so I couldn’t exactly hear her. “Did you say Becky Lockhart was your niece?”  “Yes.” And then she went on to tell everyone the story of how she ended up raising her sister’s children. I had heard that story before but what I didn’t know was that one of the children she raised was Becky Lockhart’s father. Becky was her grandniece but since she raised her dad, doesn’t that make Becky her granddaughter? The family was in an auto accident near Bakersfield and both parents were killed. Ironically, Kay and her new husband happened by the accident after they had been on an outing, and stopped to take pictures, hoping they could sell them to the news media. Since they were driving a new car, they never realized it was her own sister’s family until they were back to their parent’s house and got the call from the police, telling them they had their grandchildren in the hospital but didn’t tell them the parents were killed until they got there. At first the grandchildren lived with their grandparents but they were getting older. Kay and Theran, who was a school teacher, would go help out in the summertime. Eventually, as the parents grew more infirm, the three children came to live with Kay and Theran permanently. And that is how she came to be the grandmother of Becky Lockhart, Utah’s Iron Woman.

Former House Speaker Becky Lockhart remembered as pioneer, mom, friend

By ROBERT GEHRKE | The Salt Lake Tribune

First Published Jan 22 2015 12:30PM    •  

Family, friends, political allies and opponents gather to mourn the loss and praise the legacy of an outstanding Utahn.

Former House Speaker Becky Lockhart was remembered Thursday as a leader of strong conviction, an inspiration to Utah women, a mentor, a caring friend and loving mother during a service in the state Capitol.

"She believed in the state. She believed in the community. She believed in her neighbors and constituents and those she represented and believed she should give them her very best, which she did," said Gov. Gary Herbert. "Utah is a better place because Becky Lockhart served here and contributed so much to all of us."

Lockhart, who was Utah's first female House speaker, died Saturday at age 46 from a rare neurological disease that claimed her life within weeks of the first symptoms. A mother of three, Lockhart served 16 years in the House, the last four as speaker. An estimated 1,200 people gathered at the Capitol for the solemn and tear-filled service.

"I've not served in this House without Becky as a guide, as a mentor, as a leader," said House Speaker-elect Greg Hughes, R-Draper. "Of all the things she has taught me, she left me unprepared for a day like this. She's still our speaker."

Emily Britton, one of Lockhart's three children, recalled growing up with her mother in the Utah House, visiting the Capitol during the session and later interning when her mother was speaker.

"She brought us along on her journey. She encouraged us to ask questions and be engaged in discussions," Britton said. "My mom taught [my sister] Hannah and I to be strong women. … I think now she would be proud to know that not only did she pave the way for us, she paved the way for every Utah woman."

Sen. Curt Bramble, R-Provo, a close friend of Becky and her husband, Stan, for two decades, said the public perception of Lockhart as "Utah's Iron Lady" is "merely a caricature of the incredibly warm and caring person Becky really is."

"On any given day," Bramble said, "Becky would be the one who, after a long day at the Capitol, could be found helping her son changing the oil in his old beat-up Jeep or helping to fix a leaky faucet."

Catherine Dupont, a legislative attorney, told a story of working on a bill that Lockhart opposed. The speaker called the sponsor of the bill into her office and expressed her feelings "with great conviction."

"What I learned that day is I didn't ever want to be on the other end of that kind of conversation with Speaker Lockhart. … Her political woodshed was tough," said Dupont. But she also remembered seeing her have quiet conversations and shedding tears with her colleagues, even in the busiest times of the session.

"Despite all the hubbub," Dupont said, "she loved her fellow legislators and took time out for that human touch."

And she said that, like it or not, as a professional woman, Lockhart was a role model for other women and showed that women can serve at the highest levels of government.

"To know a woman can have a family, can be intelligent and can step forward and run for office and serve the community … I hope that legacy she leaves behind will be a lasting one," Dupont said.

Former House Minority Leader David Litvack, D-Salt Lake City, said that Lockhart embraced their differences and made him feel valued as a person. Becky and Stan Lockhart and their daughter celebrated Passover at his home, and they attended Rep. Jennifer Seelig's wedding together. Litvack also attended the marriage of Lockhart's daughter.

"It was times like these that I got to know Becky as more than a colleague and tremendous leader," Litvack said. "I got to know Becky as a person, the wonderful and beautiful human being that she was.

"My dear friend, you will be sorely missed by so many," Litvack said. "Thank you on behalf of my daughter and all the daughters out there for leading the way. Thank you for making me a better person."

Rep. Francis Gibson, R-Mapleton, said Lockhart was a pioneer and a trailblazer for women and a friend and mentor to fellow legislators.

"I will miss her this session and everyone in the House will," Gibson said. "To my colleagues in the House, both past and present: She loved serving with each one of you. She would often say to me, 'Francis, we have great people in this House and what a great privilege it is to serve with them.' Your friendship meant more to her than you will ever know."

Elder D. Todd Christofferson, a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, quoted Ralph Waldo Emerson, that "it's not the length of life, but the depth."

"There's no question that Becky Lockhart's life was one of depth and accomplishment," Christofferson said. "She leaves multiple legacies that I'm convinced will reach across generations."

A couple of months ago, Marilyn, my secretary in Fine Arts Club had a freak accident and crashed her car into a building (she went forward instead of backward) – on the anniversary of an accident when she was living in Moab and driving her children to Salt Lake when she hit black ice killing two of her three children.

Jeannie and her husband decided to move back to their hometown from Washington State where they had raised their family. They searched for a wheelchair friendly house--and he died two weeks after they moved in. Her son, with a large family, now has cancer.

Janie’s daughter is living with them while she undergoes breast cancer treatment.

Sylvia’s only daughter died last summer; as well as two long-time members of the Fine Arts Club. Two are confined to Assisted Living residences. 

These stories of undaunted courage and survival inspire and embolden me.

I wrote in a blog in November that I wasn’t created to join clubs but I believe I was created to listen to their stories of valor.

I was trying to get Ed to tell me where Billie Timothy went. He heard me talking to Bob on the phone. I could not think of the place. I knew he knew but he wouldn’t tell me.

I coaxed and coaxed.

“It is driving me crazy, Ed. All I can think of is Saratoga Springs. Tell, me. You don’t want me to be crazy do you?”

“Too late,” he deadpans.

Suddenly, it came to me. “Carlsbad!”

“Duh,” he says smugly.