Damned if you do; Damned if you don't

I didn’t know until I went

off the cancer medication for three weeks

how bone-weary I was.

I have more stamina now

with general feelings of well-being.

I’m still old

but there’s a spark that

had been extinguished.

Dr. Henry took me off the medication

for three weeks to

see if it was contributing

to my joint pain

(one of the side-effects).

It’s hard to tell because joint pain

intensity ebbs and flows.

“How about if I don’t go back on any medication?

I read that 60% of breast cancer never recurs

even without treatment.

If you are one of the 40%,

you just have the lump removed again.”

“Trouble is,

the cancer generally comes back

somewhere else.

Somewhere less treatable.”

So she’s changing the medication –

with different side-effects

that I will have to deal with.

Three blessed weeks.