There was an Old Lady who Sucked up a Fly

 There was an old lady who swallowed a fly

I don't know why she swallowed a fly

- Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a  spider; 

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her!

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;

I don't know why she swallowed a fly

 - Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a  bird;

How absurd to swallow a bird!

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider;

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her!

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;

I don't know why she swallowed a fly

- Perhaps she'll die!

There was an old lady who swallowed a  cat; 

Imagine that! She swallowed a cat!

She swallowed the cat to catch the bird,

She swallowed the bird to catch the spider;

That wriggled and jiggled and tickled inside her!

She swallowed the spider to catch the fly;

I don't know why she swallowed a fly 

- Perhaps she'll die!

Then she swallowed a dog, a goat, a cow;

and finally the old lady swallowed a horse.

...She's dead, of course!

I didn’t swallow a fly.

I sucked one up through the straw in my thermos,

that I keep full of water upstairs to take my pills.

“Ugh. That’s something big!”

I spit it out.

It was a very big black fly.

“Am I going to be sick?”

Think of all the times you splashed the water skeeters

and other bugs from the pond out to the herd

before getting a drink.

I’m still alive.

Nevertheless,

flies are filthy.

-Perhaps I’ll die.