Relaxed and Fantastic

Mom,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Since we can’t spoil you in person, we thought we would send you to a professional. 

We hope they pamper you and make you feel relaxed and fantastic.

We love you!

Brent, Jan, Jonathan, Naomi and Amanda

A Groupon for a 60-Minute Massage 

No, I’ve never had a professional massage in my life.

I’m a little apprehensive.

Maybe next week.

Over a month later, I make an appointment.

The phone voice was nice.

I’m already feeling pampered.

Using GPS I find the Red Orchid Spa

Arriving right on time.

“I have a Groupon,” I say as I hand it to her.

“So we need to make you an appointment.”

“No, I came for my appointment.”

“We don’t have you in the computer.”

She saw my name in her notebook

And even remembered the call

But she didn’t put it in the computer

No therapist was there.

So I go home, honestly a bit relieved.

All told, it took an hour.

She added hot towels and rocks

For the inconvenience.

I bravely make another appointment for Friday.

Those sensual satin curtains and eerie cubicles

Intimidate me so this time DeRay goes with me.

As we drive over,

I have a sense of dread,

Like it's a doctor’s appointment.

“Leave your clothes in the locker

Put on this robe and slippers

And then come in and fill our some papers.”

Health record.

Disclaimers.

Signature.

This is an MRI in disguise.

“I’m sorry,” the gentle voice said

when I tell her it feels like

I'm coming in for X-rays,

“This will be so lovely,

you won’t want to leave.”

And she was right!

It was virtually:

Heaven vs. Hell

Soft Music vs. Jackhammer Tremor

Soothing Rub vs. Claustrophobic Terror

Warm Rocks and Towels vs. Isolation

Twilight Bliss vs. Nightmare

I do not care if the temperature is dropping

And a storm is raging outside.

For almost two hours,

perfect calm; soothing tranquility;

No cares; no worries.

Let it all pass by

Right here

Right now

This moment in time.

What a great gift

For a tired old mom.