Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Hidden Perks

I have found a few little perks about old age that I hadn’t thought about before.
I thought it was just a steady downhill struggle. . .
Slowly losing your eyesight, hearing, motor skills, memory, joints, digestive system, nervous system, hair, skin, nails,
Until you’re gone.
The bonuses I realized after I visited my doctor last week for some insurance-mandated tests.
     Mammograms are not recommended anymore.
     A colonoscopy is not recommended anymore.
     It is not recommended I have the other side of my thyroid out even though the first side was cancerous.
I have strenuously rejected prescription drugs and at one time tried to get completely off them
Even though my cholesterol was 300, I had Hashimotos disease, arthritis, acid reflux, and osteoporosis.
Now I happily swallow pills for all of the above as well as a high blood pressure pill,
plus a multitude of vitamins and minerals that threaten to bankrupt us.
Know why I don’t have to have the tests and don’t mind taking the drugs?
    Because I’m so old that I will probably die before any of them get me.
It’s surprisingly liberating.
Old age, you are my friend.
I embrace you.
The last test the insurance company insisted on
Was for depression.
I just answered everything to give me the healthiest score.
It’s none of their business.
Why would I want to kill myself?
It happens naturally; plus
I have too much to do.

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