Surprise

These are my two unscientific surmises on what caused this potential cancer. I had a breast exam by a doctor less than two months ago. No lumps. Monday, August 28, while I was showering at the gym I felt this hard mass. Sure? Check other side. Nothing. Definitely something there.

I decide I want to go to a doctor in the University of Utah Hospital system since that’s where I’ve had all my other surgeries.  Now there is a clinic at Farmington Station. Alison goes there. I tried to get in with her doctor but she was booked until late October so I took the first available appointment with anyone. Thursday at 4:15. We had to wait quite awhile and by the time he examined me it was too late to get an appointment with anyone for a diagnostic mammogram and ultra-sound. Next morning I call the North Davis Hospital but they couldn’t see me until Tuesday afternoon; Monday being a holiday. I called Lakeview where they recommended and made an appointment for Tuesday at 9:30, come 15 minutes early.

So I have the mammogram and the ultra-sound. Tissue looks different. It could be scar tissue, (I had a lump taken out 51 years ago) why would that suddenly show up? Only way to know for sure is a biopsy. Why can’t you do it now? Most people like to wait. It’s the waiting that kills you. Well, if your insurance OK’s it. She checked. Pretty sure insurance covers it. So they did it. The needle is the size of a pencil. It’s ugly. I look at the pictures on the screen. It just looks like an ocean to me. Two more days and I’ll know the results. It’s small. You caught it early. Relax.

The two things I’m suspecting: (I know a doctor would laugh at me.)

1.    The stem cell injections in my knees taken from the amniotic fluid of a newborn caesarian section baby carried cancer cells.

2.   The diet pills I have been taking for three months. DeRay and all his brothers and sisters are taking them. Ron has lost 90 pounds; Karen has lost 50 pounds. Most of  Karen’s kids are taking them. When Brent was here, he read the ingredients: nicotine and caffeine are the two major ingredients. Yep.

I can’t decide which one to blame. I’m certainly not taking any of the blame myself. Why do I need another cancer? Thyroid cancer is enough.

“I’ve had 23-year-olds in here with breast cancer. Now that is sad.” Like it’s not sad when an old person has breast cancer because they are ready to die anyway. Rude. I’ve still got things to do and I don’t want my schedule interrupted thank you.  I don’t call them on it. I have felt the same way. I remember when Mama was concerned because one side of her face was paralyzed from brain surgery. Eddy was a baby and I thought: “Mama, you’re old. Eddy has his whole life to live with only one eye and the distortions that multiple surgeries can't redeem.”  Mama wasn’t even 70. Here I am 80 years old and want everything to be just as it has been. It’s apples and oranges. One person’s fate doesn’t diminish or embellish another’s. A trial is a trial. Period.

Thursday already. I felt pretty good last evening and this morning. You know my gut feeling that all will be well.

Nope. So much for my gut feelings.  I have no inspiration or intuition.

Breast cancer. She made four appointments: 1) MRI; 2) Surgeon; 3) Oncologist; 4) Radiation

She gave me a key chain boxing glove that reads: FIGHT like a girl.

Sure.
   To add insult to injury,  we found out on our 61st Wedding Anniversary.