Social Barometer

     As I listened to "Sister Carrie" on my iPod as I ride my trike each morning, I began to realize it was an extraordinary novel. Amy gets them from the library and puts them on my iPod. I listen to everything she puts on and generally like them. The previous book had been interesting but this one seemed a cut above. I thought of Thomas Hardy or Charles Dickens. Or Tolstoy. I see lots of parallels with Anna Karenina.
     In one chapter, I heard a quote that struck a chord with me. I didn't stop to see where it was and I couldn't find it the next day. I checked Google to see if by some miracle I could find the quote. I had never heard of the author (I thought). Imagine my surprise when I learned:
     Sister Carrie (1900) is a novel by Theodore Dreiser about a young country girl who moves to the big city where she starts realizing her own American Dream, first as a mistress to men that she perceives as superior, and later becoming a famous actress. It has been called the  "greatest of all American urban novels."
     I almost quit listening to it when I was fearful Carrie would get into trouble in a new big city like I quit reading The American Tragedy because I couldn't stand for an innocent boy to be brought to destruction and death. Guess what? It was written by Theodore Dreiser too. In 2005, the book was placed on Time Magazine's list of the top 100 novels written in English since 1923.
     The quote I spent two days looking for was, simply:

     "Our social barometers always stand as 'cloudy and overcast'."

     It struck a chord with me because I realized that's been our reading in every ward we've ever lived in. "Cloudy and Overcast."  Partly because of our unique circumstances (first not having children, then adoption, then a child with special needs); mainly, because that's the way we are.

When I was in school, from mid-grade school on,

when Daddy was accidentally killed,

my brothers, sisters, and I 

were the only kids in school without a dad.

Today, that wouldn't be noticed

but in our small town, 

nearly 70 years ago,

it set us apart.

The Best of Times

I love living in this day and age.

I can play Rummikub while my dishwasher washes the dishes;

Ride my trike while the washing machine cleans the clothes.

I am cool on hot days; and warm on cold days.

My adjustable bed offers me comfort and rest.

We can drive to far away places at 70-80 mph;

Or ride in an airplane and train or cruise on a ship.

Today while I was cleaning my kitchen,

I listened to a book on my mini iPod Shuffle.

In the olden days, I would have to choose whether to

Read for the afternoon or clean the kitchen.

It makes me smile to think of all the nice things we have

In this day and age.

Where God Is

It’s 5:30 on Friday afternoon.

Amy and I are in a restorative yoga class

  at the Cliff Lodge at Snowbird.

We’re facing a wall of windows

  viewing the majestic mountains,

  a roaring river and an inspiring waterfall.

It’s achingly beautiful.

Our bodies are moving gently.

I feel the presence of God

  with gratitude for our abundance

  and the beauty within and without.

I think of my grandson, Isaak,

  taking out his endowments

  in the temple prior to his mission.

His session starts at 5:30.

DeRay & I don’t have temple recommends

  because they refuse to give Eddy a recommend

  to take out his endowments.

Twenty-one years now

  since first we asked

  when Brooke and Elizabeth were getting married.

There isn’t a day pass

  but what Eddy doesn’t say how much he loves the temple.

“I am worthy to go to the temple,”

  he said twenty-one years ago.

We are not bad people.

Not wicked or evil.

We are moral.

We take care of our own,

Trying not to hurt anyone;

We are hardworking and diligent.

Honest, trustworthy, independent.

We raise a garden.

We feel strongly that Eddy should be present

  for significant sacred family events –

  starting with his brother’s wedding.

We refuse to leave him out

  to be alone while family gathers.

We will stand by him;

  be with him.

  even if we have to miss blessed family events ourselves.

“That’s your choice,” the bishop said bluntly.

For no good reason.

Can God be in two places at once?

I felt His presence at Snowbird.

I’m sure Isaak felt His presence in the temple that day.

In our hearts, we know our place is with Eddy.

Isaak has lots of family and friends and potential.

Eddy has us and a very kind and forgiving heart.

Perplexing

Dreams are an enigma.

Perplexing.

Last night I dreamed I was sitting in my car

Just down from Aunt Lucy’s house

In my hometown of Orderville.

A car roared by,

Then backed up and stopped.

For some reason, I was in the passenger side;

No one in the driver’s seat.

The car door opened

And this girl leaned in to hug me.

“Lorene!

You don’t look any older than you did in high school.

How did you do that?”

We hugged for a long time.

She was clear as could be.

“You are here just in time to go to our class reunion.”

I was so excited.

Then I realized that I hadn’t sent her an invitation.

She died suddenly nearly 36 years ago;
not quite 45 years old. 

Every classmate, except Dalene and I, will be 80 years old at reunion.

I always hoped there would be a time when it was rewarding to be youngest in the class.

It was pretty painful growing up.

I just found out that Norman doesn't turn 80 until September 27.

He won't be to reunion.

He has to take care of an invalid wife, who is younger than he is.

We didn't go to elementary school with the Alton and Glendale kids,

so I don't know their birth dates like I do the Orderville and Carmel kids.
Lenore's birthday is in September
and Odean's is in the fall sometime.
More young ones than I thought
who haven't yet turned 80.

When Patience isn't a Virtue

The Seven Heavenly Virtues:

Chastity, Abstinence, Liberality, Diligence, Patience, Kindness, Humility

Chastity- Courage and boldness. Embracing of moral wholesomeness and achieving purity of thought through education and betterment.

Abstinence- Constant mindfulness of others and one's surroundings; practicing self-control, abstention, and moderation.

Liberality- Generosity. Willingness to give. A nobility of thought or actions.

Diligence- A zealous and careful nature in one's actions and work. Decisive work ethic. Budgeting one's time; monitoring one's own activities to guard against laziness.

Patience- Forbearance and endurance through moderation. Resolving conflicts peacefully, as opposed to resorting to violence. The ability to forgive; to show mercy to sinners.

Kindness- Charity, compassion, friendship, and sympathy without prejudice and for its own sake.

Humility- Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self. Modest behavior, selflessness, and the giving of respect. Giving credit where credit is due; not unfairly glorifying one's own self.

In Yoga, they talk about “cultivating your patience”.

Well, I think DeRay cultivated his too much.

First of all, he and Ed were going to take the cart down and get the car while I returned Amy’s cap that he had left in the Men’s Dressing room. When I got down 15 minutes later, he was still standing at the desk waiting to ask for his car. Others went outside and handed their card to a valet and were gone in 10 minutes.

We take the cart outside and wait.

“That looks like Amy’s car,” I say as they back a car in to be loaded.

“No,” says DeRay, “for one thing, that’s a Toyota.”

Amy has a Hyundai Cilantro.

Sure looks like her car to me but what do I know?

Forty-five minutes goes by and we are still standing there waiting.

It’s very busy with wedding reception guests dressed fit to kill arriving in hordes.

Wait.

Wait.

Wait.

Surely the next car will be Ed’s Buick.

Finally I go back in to the desk at the Cliff Lodge at Snowbird.

“Oh, there’s been a mix-up. They are looking for it.”

“Looking for what?”

“A Hyundai Cilantro.”

“No, that’s our daughter’s car.

My husband asked for a Buick.”

“Well, there were two sets of keys for room 904.”

“Can’t there be two cars for one room?”

“They are looking.”

“Tell them to look for a Maroon Buick.”

DeRay and Eddy are still standing outside . . .waiting.

It’s an hour before they take the Hyundai back and bring the Buick.

When patience isn’t a virtue.

It reminded me of DeRay’s patience the night we waited in the lobby of the condo in Hawaii for a ride to the airport in 1983. We went down with all out luggage and four kids around 7 pm. Everyone else got called and left; no one called us.  DeRay accepted it all, knowing they would come for us. They never did. Three hours later, we finally call. “Oh the car is on the way.” It never came. It’s going on midnight. The plane leaves at 1. We’re 45 minutes from the airport. Finally when a car pulled up and stopped, I told the driver he was taking us to the airport. “I’m off shift. I’m going home.” “No, you’re not. You’re taking us to the airport.”  He did and we got on the plane as it was taxing down the runway. Almost. We should have known they didn’t have our names on the list when we were never called to go from the airport to the condo. We just crowded in. Six of us.

At least we had a beautiful condo with a magnificent view of Waikiki. One couple had a view of the ventilation system.

We had plans to meet DeLoy and Grace at Disneyland the next morning. If we had missed our plane, we would have missed a fun day with them and we may still be in Hawaii –

When patience isn’t a virtue.

Uncultivate, DeRay.

P.S. Listen to your wife.

Even if she is just a woman.

DeRay sincerely loves his GPS

He uses it to get home everyday.

I thought it would teach him

to take instructions from a woman

but it doesn't seem to have helped much.

BTW, HAPPY FATHER'S DAY, DeRAY

He fixed his own lunch.

I offered to do the dishes.

ACCESSMENT

“I’m dead,”

I pronounce while sitting at the table,

too tired to get up and do dishes.

“You don’t look it,” Ed says,

“Your heart’s beating; you’re breathing; you’re moving. . .”

“I’m going to the movie?”

“And another thing. . .”

“What?”

“You’re deaf.”

60th Wedding Anniversary

I have learned that
the older you get
the more like yourself you become;

The more your DNA kicks in;

The more your authentic self emerges.

You become what you were meant to be.

Cai gets more Danish;

Spending more time in Denmark;

Speaking more Danish;

And things like that.

 DeRay's dresser & floor.

 My dresser.

 DeRay's drawer.

 My drawer.

 DeRay's desk

My desk.

This year DeRay and I are celebrating our 60th Wedding Anniversary

We neither one have managed to change the other.

Only becoming more of what we were destined to be.

Yes, of course,

he handles all the business,

solves all the problems,

figures everything out,

earns the money,

does all the grocery shopping,

vacation planning,

and gardening.

But that's another blog.

And his dresser isn't always this messy,
although he would be perfectly happy
if it were.

No retribution, DeRay.

Chillingly,
the traits are passed on.

Four days after Amy fixed the brakes on her bike,
the tools are still scattered
and she probably wonders
why she can't park in the garage.
Like her father.