The Price for Civility

One of the things I love most about going for a walk or a trike ride in the early mornings is the greetings from others out and about.  It just gets your day started right to see the smiles and waves of fellow trekkers, especially total strangers. 

All that changed in a day.  This morning, I didn’t initiate any salutation.  If someone waved, I waved back but I didn’t smile.  I didn’t feel like it.

I was almost home on my trike yesterday when I passed two women walking, maybe 30 or 40ish.  I moved over to the other side of the road to give them space when one walked over to me.  “Is that your son who rides ahead of you?”  “Yes.”  “He always shouts rude things to us when he passes and I’m sick of it.  This morning he shouted ‘Yak.  Yak.  Yak.’  I told him it wasn’t appropriate.”  They were probably yakking.  Is that so rude?  “I’m sorry I said.  If you felt it was inappropriate, I’m glad you told him.”  “Some days he tells us he’s mad at us or that we’re dressed funny.”  “That’s just his way of saying ‘Good Morning’,” I tell her, “but I’ll talk to him.”  “Well, we’re women out here alone and it’s threatening to have a man yell at us.”  At 9 o’clock in the morning, she feels unsafe in this neighborhood?  I thanked her for telling me.  I spent the day talking to Ed about just saying “Good Morning”. 

When he got home today, I asked, “Did you say ‘Good Morning’ to everyone you met this morning.”  “Yep,” he boasted. 

Sad in a way that we all have to be the same.  Homogenized.  Pasteurized.  Pedestrian.  Ordinary.  Unimaginative.  Uninspired.  Prosaic.  Humdrum.  We can’t be our authentic selves because someone might be upset.  We can’t crack a joke.  We’re all wound up tight as snare drums even when we’re walking to relax. Is it any wonder a passenger on United threw a glass of water on the man behind her who attached a gadget that prevented her from reclining her seat?  Two more similar airline incidents in one week.

It affected me a lot more than I ever imagined.  One more character crushed.  Soon we’ll all be so well-mannered and identical that no one will be able to tell us apart.  I didn’t feel like greeting anyone with a smile and a wave this morning.  Who knows whom I might offend?