KERPLUNK

Yip.

While going down the steep incline into the hollow, I slipped on the ice hidden under the snow. I had on knee braces and was using walking sticks. I felt like I went straight up, crashing down hard on my tailbone.  “Just let me lie here for awhile.” Eventually, Amy helped me up. The only thing that hurts is my right shoulder. Why? I hit squarely on my tailbone. 

Ever since I have had to face the breast cancer chaos, I have whispered to myself: “Don’t fall. Be very careful. Slowly. Carefully.” My neighbor across the street slipped getting her mail and had to have surgery on her arm. They took food into her for a month. I can walk, fix meals, comb my hair, brush my teeth; take Ed to the gym, swim, trike.  I don’t want to fall. That would be the worst.

The worst happened on Sunday.

I thought it was the end of the world, as I had known it.

By evening, I couldn’t raise my arm; it hung limp and lifeless by my side; my tailbone hurt very little.  Next morning, DeRay kindly took Ed to the gym and I took a Jacuzzi. DeRay thought I should get it checked. When I broke my shoulder 40 years ago, we waited too long to go to the doctor. There was nothing they could do anyway, except put it in a sling. Dr. Joseph thought it was probably the rotator cup. She sent me for x-rays.

By evening, my ribs hurt, my neck was sore like a whip lash; I had a slight headache. Sort of like being in an auto accident. Just beat up.

When Sports Medicine called to make an appointment for therapy for my shoulder today. I told them I would call them back. I can’t face going to one more doctor or have one more whatever. Amy thought I made a mistake. She said I should go once to get some exercises. Dr. Joseph said it is better to keep it moving so it doesn’t freeze up. That was what I mainly wanted to know. Am I hurting it or helping it? It hurts to raise it but I can put weight on it like downdog or plank.

Am I blessed or doomed?

Should I cancel my endoscopy on Tuesday?

Should Verla cancel her cataract surgery?

I hate hurting.