A Melancholy Day

On Friday, I awaken from my hour nap thinking what a wonderful day this has been.

Getting up before 7, I do my stretches. Read the newspaper. Mop the kitchen floor while canning turkey broth. Fix breakfast for Ed and a breakfast for the road for me. I wanted to leave at 9 but it was 9:20 by the time he was ready. We stopped at the lab at Tanner Clinic to have a blood test. My doctor wouldn’t renew my thyroid prescription without checking my blood. Three-day holiday weekend coming up, I wanted to get it done as I’m running out of pills. By some miracle, we barely set down before my name was called. The parking lot was packed; the waiting room was full. I thought we might be there all day. She was efficient and we were off to the gym. I forgot to eat my breakfast on the 5 minute ride to the gym so I sat in the car to eat it. I told Ed to go ahead and go upstairs and start his machines. I have to eat slowly so food doesn’t get caught in my throat so I was at least 10 minutes eating my piece of bread, a boiled egg and slice of cheese. Ed was waiting in the lobby. By now, it’s 10 AM. Swimming laps starts at 10:30. Elliptical, treadmill, bike. Off to swim.  Oh, oh, all lanes full. Ed was waiting in the first lane with the old man swimming next to him. I asked the young fellow in the next lane if I could swim with him. His mother talked to me and asked me how I got Ed to swim so good. She said she’d been watching him for over a year. I kept waiting for the guy in the lane with Ed to finish but I only had four more laps when he did. After showering, we met in the weight room and did our weights, getting home at 1 PM exactly, according to Ed’s request. “I’ve only got about an hour,” he tells me when I suggest we meet in the weight room.

I have lunch and fix Ed’s lunch. He watches his programs until 2. I checked my (no) messages and Facebook and go in for a nap.

I compared the way I feel this day with the way I felt on Wednesday. A wasted day. Full of regret.

My visiting teachers came at 9. Usually, they go to Berdeen at 10. I didn’t find out until they were leaving that Berdeen had back surgery and they were taking dinner in that night. I didn’t have a watch. It did seem like they were staying a long time. It was 11:15. Ed hadn’t even eaten breakfast. He had patiently waited in his swimming suit in his room so he wouldn’t bother them. We quickly had breakfast but he thought it was too late to go to the gym so we decided to play games for ½ hour. I ran up to change my clothes and was gone so long he gave up on me. I felt so badly as I saw him shut the door to his room. I had let him down. He had counted on me.

I did a little vacuuming but mainly moped around for the rest of the day. Brooke came over to help DeRay install a gas line to the stove so we couldn’t even watch TV. I didn’t do the vibrator. I did call Alison (90-years-old) and check to see if she was dead since she didn’t send me a Christmas card and I had been concerned about her. (Anymore, she only sends Christmas cards to people who send them to her, which is what I do; so we’re at an impasse.)

We didn’t go to the gym on Monday because Ed’s cold was so bad; we didn’t go on Tuesday because R.C.Willey was coming to install the new stove (but couldn’t because of gas and electricity problems).  We planned to go on Thursday but he came down in this pajamas saying, “I listened to the traffic report and I’m not taking any chances.” Snow and ice on the roads. So I cleaned the kitchen and three bathrooms and felt vindicated and OK about the day.

Why was Friday a good day and Wednesday a bad day? I rarely visit with people. It’s not a sin. I go to the gym routinely. Missing a week is OK. Am I messed up? Do I feel that devoted to Eddy that I have no life of my own? I don’t know what’s wrong with me. All I know is that Friday made me happy and on Wednesday I was melancholy and miserable.