R-RATED – Parts may be too graphic for younger audiences.

After going to Dr. Babcock
And loading up on nutritious pills,
DeRay wanted to stop at Farmer’s Market.
I didn’t feel like going in.
I had mild stomach cramps and was generally tired.
All the way home I felt like I might burst.
There was the most gorgeous sunset.
I grabbed my camera and walked to the street
To get a picture but it was too late
and we are too low.
It was amazing as we drove down the street.
So I finally sat on the toilet
and was shocked to the core
when there were clots and blood on the toilet paper;
blood literally filling the toilet bowl.
What had swished out was straight bright red blood.
It scared the living daylight out of me.
I’m bleeding to death.
I’m dying.
My beloved husband of 54 years was engrossed in a movie
And was not alarmed in anyway.
I had already asked him to feed Ed
but he ignored me
so I went ahead and fed him
and did his eye and lips for mutual.
Then I went to bed.
I still had hopes of cleaning the bathrooms and basement
but I soon realized I was too weak.
DeRay left without checking on me.
I sincerely thought I was going to die.
I mentally was making out my last will and testament.
I regretted that I didn’t have Mama’s history
ready for Lynn to add the photos.
You'd think I'd be worrying about
Ed and DeRay and Amy
and who would clean the toilets?
NO, I fretted about Mama’s history.
I was beginning to think my dream
of a few days ago was going to come true.

The one where I woke up in heaven

with Mama and Daddy

hovering over me

And I realized (with satisfaction) that I was an only child –
The first in my family to die.
I slept for awhile.
Amy came home and came up.
She brought me a glass of water
and visiting with me
while she ate tomato soup.
She said tomato soup and orange juice cure everything.
“Well, if you’re not going to visit with me,
I’m going to bed.”
“You can talk.  I’ll listen.
I just don’t feel like talking.”
Around 10:30, not being able to sleep longer,
I got up and went into the computer room.
I don’t want to linger.
I want to be healthy or die.
I don’t want to die an inch at a time.
What would cause all that blood?
My stomach is very tender and rumbly.
Maybe I’ll live until morning and maybe I won’t.
Talking to Sylvia, my 90-year-old friend,
The next day, I told her that
I was so surprised when I woke up and I was still alive.
"That's the first time I've laughed all day," she responded.
Dr. Babcock, the fake doctor, refused to take any blame;
Saying to call my primary care doctor.
Late in the afternoon,
Dr. Flanders, the surgeon I like because he didn’t surge
When I had a bowel blockage,
Called back.
He said I should have another colonoscopy.
“You said when I had the last one,
at my age I would never have to have another one.”
“How old are you?”
“74.”
“You don’t sound that old.
I spoke wrong.
I didn’t know you had polyps.
There are some serious issues here
And we can’t discount them.”
He prescribed some steroids to
Tide me over until he gets back
From vacation after next week.
“If it happens again
or if you feel weak or dizzy,
get to Emergency immediately.”
I was starting to feel good until I talked to him,
Then I started feeling awful again.
But I conquered it.
I’m alive!

May we all wake up in the morning
grateful for every little thing;
thankful for one more day
to prepare to meet God.

Sunset in Fruit Heights 1/20/11 Too late and too low to capture the grandeur.