Back to the Beginning

I thought I came through the surgery unscathed when the doctor called me at home to tell me that I would not have to have any more surgery. However, on Monday when we went in for the appointment she drew a picture of the tumor and the border and showed us where there was cancer in the border. She couldn’t say whether it was connected to the tumor or separate. Consequently, she had her nurse make appointments for us with both a radiation and a chemo oncologist. I didn’t know when I made my surgery choices that if you have a lumpectomy you usually have to have radiation as well as chemo – unless you are over 70 years old.

I’m well over 70.

So why is she sending me to a radiation oncologist?

DeRay gets Dr. McDougall’s newsletter. He claims breast cancer treatment is both barbaric and brutal. He thinks the cancer is caused by our western diet. He claims cancer spreads to other parts of the body via the bloodstream in the very early stages of its development.

He says test studies show that radiation after a lumpectomy did not improve survival. However, radiation did prevent local recurrence in the affected breast at a price of significant side effects and financial costs.

The reasoning behind radiation after complete removal of the obvious cancer is to sterilize the remaining breast in order to reduce the risk of local recurrence and future spread of cancer to other parts of the body, ultimately prolonging useful life.

A large population study found no survival benefits from the addition of radiation.

So at my age, why are they recommending radiation?

Probably because of the (potential) free-floating cancer in the margin.

Since there was cancer in the half of the thyroid gland the surgeon removed, there is probably cancer in the other half.

It’s not hard to imagine cancer lurking throughout my body.

What good is radiation on one breast going to do?

I thought I invented the concept of five stages of grief due to loss of health.

Oh, no, there is a whole page on it in my breast cancer binder.

(I find now that I have opened it up.)

“Grief is mourning after any kind of loss.

It is a normal healthy response to the loss of your health

through a disease such as cancer.

Grief ebbs and flows.

Moments of unexpected grief are normal.”

After surgery, I’m back to Stage One of Grief.

Denial.

 “I can’t resist what a good time I had yesterday afternoon,” Ed chats.

“At the doctor’s?” I ask, incredulously. 

He and DeRay changed to the University of Utah Clinic in Farmington.

“And you’re going on Friday,” he reminds me. 

“You lucky duck.”

“Not so lucky, I’m afraid,” I caution.

“Quit complaining!” he demands.