Pondering

I didn’t know or had forgotten that the Five Stages of Grief can be applied to the loss of health and normal routine in your life as well as to the death of a close family member. I guess it applies to any loss in your life.

The betrayal of your body that you have worked so hard to maintain and keep in good working order, is just cause for grief. Although, while swimming this morning, I thought maybe the body is as betrayed as is the mind. Maybe it’s a foreign intruder and your loyal body is trying to fight it off also. I’ll bet that’s it.

We are at the bargaining stage (truthfully, still partially denial. I still can't make myself open up the binders to read the instructions to prepare for surgery day after tomorrow. I was supposed to read them a week out. More often than not, I'm also still in the anger stage.) We’ll (my body, my brain, and me)  stick together and hopefully come out victorious.

The Five Stages of Grief:

1.  Denial – The first stage of grief is Denial.  It is really the first of our reactions to any form of sudden loss.  Depending on the relationship we share to the subject of our loss, the more our lives may be uprooted or altered.  It is very common for people to try and initially deny the event in order to subconsciously avoid sadness, or the thought of pending mental struggles.  People in denial often withdraw from their normal social behavior and become isolated.  Denial has no set time frame, or may never be felt at all.  However, it is considered the first stage of grief.

2.  Anger – The second stage of grief is Anger.  People that are grieving often become upset with the person or situation which put them in their grief state.  After all, their life could now be in complete disarray.  The path of least resistance is anger as opposed to facing the consequences of a loss head on.  In the case of death, the anger is often focused toward the deceased for leaving that person behind and unable to cope.   Other times people become angry at themselves if they feel they could have done something more to stop the loss from happening.

3.  Bargaining – The third stage of grief is Bargaining.  This is when those who are grieving are reaching out to the universe to make the pain go away.  It is actually very normal, and largely considered to be a sign that they are beginning to comprehend their situation.  People will often try to make a deal, or promise to do anything, if the pain will be taken away.

4.  Depression – The fourth stage of grief is Depression.  Contrary to popular belief, depression is something that may take some time to develop. We often think we are depressed when a grief event first occurs, but there is usually a lot of shock and other emotions present before any real depression can set in.  The signs of depression due to grief usually appear when a sense of finality is realized.  This is not to be confused with clinical depression, which may be chronic.  Depression due to grief is technically episodic, even though it may last for a lengthy period of time.

5.  Acceptance – The fifth stage of grief is Acceptance. This is the point where the person experiencing grief no longer is looking backward to try and recover the life they once had with the deceased, or other cause of their grief episode.  It is not to say that they no longer feel the vast array of emotions brought on by their grief, but they are ready to embrace the idea that they are reaching a new point in their lives.  At this point, they are beginning to understand that there is a new beginning on the horizon. Acceptance is really the beginning of the real healing process. 

Silently through my mind alternately run these words:

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you:

not as the world giveth, give I unto you.

Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.—John 14:27

If my life is of no value to my friends (or family), it is of no value to me.

When upon life's billows you are tempest toss,
When you are discouraged thinking all is lost;
Count your blessings name them one by one.
Count your many blessings see what God has done.

When I leave this frail existence; when I lay this mortal by

Father, Mother, May I meet you in the royal courts on high?

I need thee every hour; every hour I need thee.

Oh, bless me now my Savior, I come unto thee.

I go like a lamb to the slaughter on Friday.